Do you know what is awesome? When your son climbs into bed with you at 4 in the morning and then, after tossing and turning for an hour, decides he wants his dad to take him back downstairs (Simon’s apparently the designated carrier – probably because I actually told Jack yesterday, “Sorry, mommy can’t carry you, I have girl arms, ask your father.” Yes, I did, I am ashamed and also, a lying liar.)
But more awesome than that is when they went to go downstairs, I took that moment to use the toilet and suddenly Jack was standing in front of me in the dark, covered in blood and shouting, “Oh no, I have a nosebleed!” Which is how I ended up stuck sitting on the toilet, shoving toilet paper up my kid’s nose at 5:00 a.m. My day was bound to be great after that. (Also, parenting is super glamorous.)
The nosebleed incident led me to land on the one downfall to Jack’s little hand – his small thumb is perfectly sized for optimal nose-picking and then bleeding because he can get it up there so far. This led to the following conversation I wish had never happened:
Me: “Jack, you need to stop picking your nose so this doesn’t happen.”
Jack: “But I was just so hungry.” [yes, yes he did say that]
Me: “And you really need to stop eating your boogers.”
Jack: “I just can’t help myself.”
Please send chocolate. And coffee.