Category Archives: Parenting

Miscellany

Posted on June 21, 2012 | 4 comments

Also, another way of saying random stuff, once again…

For a few moments there, I could not for the life of me figure out what day of the week it was… it’s one of those weeks (or months, or lives)
A blogger I’ve been reading for, well, nearly six years since I started reading blogs when I was pregnant with Liam (note to others: do not read pregnancy blogs and birth stories while you are pregnant with your first child… it’s a bad idea) posted something yesterday that I cannot get out of my mind. She has a teenage daughter who has been going through some health issues and who they have had to put in a residential care facility. Mir tells her own story so much better and bravely than I could do it justice here so please go through and read what she has to say and send her love and prayers as she and her family travel down this rocky path. It’s a reminder that while we can do our very best to be good parents, life is often out of our control and our very best isn’t always good enough. While it might sound hopeless, it helps remind me to be thankful that I have someone else on my side who already knows the path and who can carry me along when I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going. A God who holds us tightly when we can’t hold it together ourselves. I don’t refer you to Mir to be voyeuristic but instead to share her story with the hope you will share some compassion and love, and maybe be helped along yourself by knowing her story even as it is just beginning.
On on a less serious note… Jack and Liam were chatting this morning on the way to daycare and Jack held up something on the tip of his finger and said, “What’s this?” Liam said it looked like a booger and then reported, “When I was younger, I used to secretly put boogers on my carseat.” Thanks for sharing, buddy. [Note to self: Wash Liam’s carseat cover with HOT water.]
I borrowed my friend Stef’s baby yesterday and it was such a treat to be trusted with his care and to have a baby in the house again (though it also made me realize that another baby isn’t the best idea for us since we co-single-parent so much of the time). The boys were sweet with him, though, and loved having him with us for the night. Liam kept asking me if he could get me anything while I was holding the baby and Jack offered to feed him his bottle (and also a french fry). At one point, Eli was in the bouncy chair, scrunching up his face but looking in Jack’s direction and Jack asked me, “Why is baby Eli angry at me?” Cute and a great observation…
I love that Liam still responds to Dora when she asks children questions… yesterday’s response was telling with regard to what Liam wants out of life. When Dora asked what everyone’s wishes were for the shooting star, Liam said (seriously), “To have a play date every day with my friends.” My boy is a social butterfly, just like his mother.
I helped a nearly-70-year old with some computer issues yesterday and as I was leaving, she wanted to show me some new perfume she had gotten and then insisted that I try it on myself. Perfume tastes vary greatly from person-to-person so I would never assume that everyone would like the scents that I wear and I would never try to make others try them on [yet another reason I would make a very poor department store employee] but I was stuck trying on her perfume and I still smell decidedly like an old lady. Chanel #5 is not for me [no offense if that is a scent you like, or wear, please just don’t make me try it on my person].
It has been over 90 for a few days, this makes me sweaty and grumpy. Thank goodness for air conditioning.
Jack acquired a black eye last week, which along with his missing tooth, really completes his look.
My husband brought me ice cream at work yesterday… which makes me wonder just a little what he did wrong that I don’t know about… I’m guessing it was think ill thoughts about me when I slept through making the kids breakfast this morning.
Really, I’m going to guess it’s because of something else that I’m going to admit to you now and hope you don’t hold it against me… Jack threw up at some point in his sleep Tuesday night [this has happened before with Liam – what is wrong with my kids that vomiting doesn’t wake them up?] and Simon was the one who found it and had to strip the bed, do the laundry and remake the bed because he was home and I’m guess he was slightly unkind in his thoughts toward me [I know I would be if the shoe were on the other foot]. It was very hot the day before and my kids ran around a whole lot outside and I fed them McDonald’s for dinner. Jack never acted sick or complained of his stomach feeling bad either before or after the vomit, so… [here’s the part I hope you don’t hold against me – not the feeding my kids McDonald’s] I still sent him to daycare. My kids are very resilient [e.g., no ear infections EVER, puke incidents that I can count on less than one hand, getting a tooth knocked out and still participating in the Easter egg hunt… the list goes on… and just so you don’t think I’m bragging, remember both my kids stopped napping around 2.5 and both run around non-stop from morning until night, chattering way without end (cute but loud) so I have other things to deal with which means resilient children is a small bonus] where was I when I started that parenthetical? Oh yes… my kids are resilient so I didn’t even consider keeping Jack home because if he was really sick, I would have known, instead I’m 99% certain it was a combination of heat and poor nutrition choices. Was anyone able to follow that train of thought? I hope so.
Liam is apparently a delicate flower when it comes to puke because he could NOT stop talking about it from when he discovered it until we got to daycare, at which point I told him that unless he was going to be throwing up, he wasn’t allowed to talk about puke again.
And just so I don’t have to close this post out with puke, here’s a photo of my stealth vomiteur:

According to WordPress, this is the 50th post I’ve entitled Five Question Friday – that’s quite an accomplishment (though I know I’ve done more than 50 5QF posts so I can’t really call it a true milestone as this is probably more like 54 or 56 or another wonky number). So really I just wasted your time with that sentence. Here’s another one: I don’t actually think that Miley Cyrus will a) get married to Liam Hemsworth any time soon and b) stay married to him for more than 2 years; she is 19 and 19-year-olds aren’t really known for their good judgement or long-term commitments (no offense 19-year-olds, if it makes you feel any better 33-year-olds like myself aren’t really known for our flexibility or diehard commitment to fun). [Someone I follow on Twitter told people to lay off Miley because “…if [Liam] asked you to marry he, you’d say yes, too.” If I wasn’t already married to my very own Australian, I’d 100% agree with that statement.]

I apologize for that last paragraph and in advance for anything you are about to read… I have a slight case of vertigo this morning (caused, I think, by a potential migraine) so I’m a little all over the place but the show must go on and my head isn’t killing me yet, so blog, I will!

1. Did you do anything special for your kids on the last day of school? Or did you parents do anything special for you?
I took Liam out for ice cream after school so that’s special – though we often do stuff after I pick him up from school so it wasn’t extra special, just run-of-the-mill special. I don’t remember doing anything special on my last day of school. I do remember once in middle school, or was it high school, going to my friend Crista’s house on the last day of school with a whole lot of our friends (who weren’t supposed to be at her house) and her mom came home early from work [I cannot confirm or deny whether we were playing spin the bottle – totally special]. Someone spotted the car in the driveway and about 20 teenagers ran out of the back of the house before she came into the house through the garage and I don’t think she had any idea what happened. Three of us were left inside to claim any left-behind items and then we high-tailed it out of the house ourselves. While I was quite innocent as a teenager, I’m quite certain the things I did do will make me always suspicious of my own children and their actions when they are teens [Dear Liam and Jack: You’ve been warned. Love, Mommy]

2. What’s your favorite summer tradition with your children?
The Memorial Day picnic with my college friends and their families always kicks off the summer. At least one trip to Holland to the beach. We love the 4th of July Parade in Cascade. And backyard time either grilling out with friends or playing in the kiddie pool.

3. What was your favorite thing to do during the summer as a kid?
Going camping. Hand’s down – I LOVED camping. We had a pop-up camper and spent at least two weeks every summer up north and I can’t think of anything that I didn’t like about those trips. We hope to go camping with the boys this summer… hopefully they love it as much as I did.

4. How old were you when you were married? Were you a Bridezilla?
I was 26 when I got married, old for my group of friends as I am the most recently married one out of all of us. I don’t think I was Bridezilla but I was super organized. I had spreadsheets, table diagrams that I did to scale on the computer and timelines [I wanted to be a wedding organizer in my former life].

5. What is your favorite girl name? (I’m needing suggestions.)
When I was pregnant with Liam, our girl name was Emma Grace and then with Jack it was Fiona Lynn (and Sydney at one point). I like old lady names like Ruby, Stella and Edwina. (Totally kidding on Edwina; I’m going to go out on a limb and say that name is hideous – though I’m sure to get someone who reads this who named their daughter that as I did when I said I didn’t want to be name Robin Renee and someone found my blog who was named Robin Renee – sorry, again).

Linking up with Mama M for Five Question Friday.

6 Comments

Posted in Five Question Friday, Life in general, Parenting

Moving on up

Posted on June 7, 2012 | 2 comments

Yesterday was a big day for my boys… it was Jack’s last day in the little kid’s building at daycare. He’s been in this classroom since last fall and I adore his teachers – but I’ve always adored my kids’ daycare teachers because they care for my children and teach them in my absence.

We love Lisa (left) and Sue, even if Jack adamantly refused to participate in the picture-taking. I will be forever grateful to the people who taught Jack to use the potty (though he still refuses to use it regularly at home) but more importantly, helped shepherd his mind and heart through the terrible twos.

And yesterday was Liam’s last day of kindergarten. He’s officially a first grader, though he was quick to correct me when I said that as he’s doing the school-age program at our daycare and he apparently thinks that is a grade onto itself. “Mom, I’m not a first grader yet, I’m going to school age this summer!” [Gosh mom, he should have added, based on the tone of voice he used.]

Above is Liam on his first day of school, below is him in the same spot on his last day. Hard to believe a whole school year has passed between these photos.

During the past year he has fallen for his kindergarten teacher – I used to be the only one he drew pictures for but countless times he worked on a drawing, only to tuck it away in his backpack for Mrs. A. Not the first time I’ll play second fiddle to another woman in his life. Alas.

I feel so blessed to have had such a wonderful, uneventful year of school for Liam. No big challenges or dramas to deal with and [fingers crossed/knock on wood/prayers lifted high] hopefully the coming years will bring the same joyful bliss of school ease (the realist in me realizes this is complete unrealistic to hope for, but the optimist hopes just the same).

I’ve got nothing but good things to say about school and daycare at this juncture. Not even a witty, sarcastic comment. Happiness abounds and the summer stretches out in front of us (though, as noted previously, the boys’ schedule is pretty much the same, just in new places so I don’t have that all-too-common, frantic look in my eyes like many of my stay-at-home mom friends tend to wear these days – just another reason I like working and daycare, it works for me just fine and I don’t sport crazy eyes – at least not about summer vacation).

And in case we aren’t friends on Facebook, here’s a little gem Liam said in the car on the way to school yesterday:
Liam: I can’t remember if “F*ck in Black” is by AC/DC.
Me: I think you mean “Back in Black, not what you just said.
Liam: Oh, I guess I just heard him un-correctly.
[I’m just thankful he didn’t say it while we were discussing music with Jack’s daycare teachers. Pretty sure that might get him banned from the school-age program.]

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Posted in Family, Life in general, Parenting

My heart isn’t ready for this

Posted on May 16, 2012 | 2 comments

We were at Heidi’s house last night and my two boys were playing with her three girls while I got my baby fix holding the little Hutch-ster (sorry, just made that one up on the fly). The big kids were entertaining themselves running around the outside of the house (literally running in one big circle all the way around the house – we seriously need to get a house with an unhindered circular pathway for running, it’s awesome, apparently). After a while we heard conversation from the little cherubs about kissing… um, hold up a minute… Heidi and I looked at each other with our eyebrows raised and asked for a little clarification about exactly what they were talking about and what game they were playing. Liam explained that they were chasing each other and giving kisses, “You know, like a marriage game.” We were at a loss for how to explain to them that they shouldn’t be kissing each other since kissing isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just probably not an appropriate activity for five-year-old friends. We also had to laugh that they equate kissing to marriage (that’s right kids, don’t kiss anyone who you aren’t married to… just like we did!).

Then Liam piped up and said that a girl from his class had kissed a boy from his class – even though his teacher had told them they weren’t supposed to kiss each other. Oh my lands. Here, of course, is where I really shouldn’t be surprised because I remember that I had my first crush in kindergarten on Blaine Guest (such a dreamy name – I’m not even going to google him to find out what he’s doing with his life, couldn’t stand to have my illusion shattered), a crush which was formed after he came to my house for a play date and the next day he gave me a heart-shaped pencil-topper eraser (which I may still have squirreled away in a box somewhere). He was the boy we kindergarten girls chased around the playground and tried to kiss. So the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, amiright?

On our way home, Liam and I had a little conversation about who it was appropriate to be kissing on the lips (for the record, we settled on just mommy, daddy and grandparents). Other people we can give hugs to and I was quick to explain to him that if anyone doesn’t like how he is showing them affection, then he needs to stop. This whole subject is not one I was prepared for, my little boy is growing up!

But Ava and Liam are certainly smitten with each other. I’m not sure if Ava has elbowed Keila out of pole position in Liam’s heart, but he didn’t stop talking about her and how much fun he had all evening.

Now I just have to talk with his teacher about this kissing problem in the classroom during rest time(!). [Okay, let’s be honest, I probably won’t be talking to her because I am not that parent, but I will be grilling Liam about it a little bit more.]

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Posted in Parenting

Play the hand you’re dealt

Posted on May 8, 2012 | 11 comments

As noted in my Instagram post, we got to meet Jim Abbott last week. I have mentioned him before in this post about Jack and his hand and I’ve talked about Jack’s hand other times. If you haven’t read those posts, it might be helpful as a frame of reference.

We heard about Jim Abbott’s book (Imperfect: An Improbable Life) and that he was going to be at our local bookstore via the Lucky Fin Project (go like them on Facebook, I’ll wait) and I knew we needed to go – despite the fact that the event started at bedtime. How many planned chances will we have to introduce Jack to someone like him with a limb difference, but especially someone who has had so much success (as State fans, we’ll forgive the playing for Michigan in favor of celebrating the 1993 no-hitter for the Yankees).

It was also a big treat for Liam to meet Jim, as he is starting to understand what Jack’s little hand means along with starting to champion his brother. If ever I point out something regarding Jack’s hand, Liam will say (without skipping a beat), “I like Jack’s little hand.” But if ever he doubts his brother, we can remind him of the cool baseball player he met who has a hand like Jack’s.

While we were waiting, we met another couple who has an 11-week old little boy whose hand looks just like Jack’s. We got to tell them about the Lucky Fin Project and I gave them my contact information in case they ever wanted to talk about what it is like having a child with a limb difference (spoiler alert: it’s no different than having any other child – you have worries, you hope people like them and they get into all sorts of trouble). That in itself was such a gift, just to know that I could offer some consolation or peace of mind to someone else in the same position as me.

Standing there, I was talking to Jack about his hand and saying how neat it was that we were getting to meet a grown up with a hand like his and Jack said, “Because God made me special. And God made Jim Abbott special. And God made the baby [who we had just met] special. Because we all have little hands.” Be still my heart. Talk about proving the point that our kids do listen to the things we tell them and that we need to reinforce the positive messages because those are the ones that matter in those moments. [It should also be noted that while were waiting, Liam rather loudly commented on someone else’s weight so clearly we have things to work on. We are far from perfect parents.]

Jim could not have been more genuine and just truly nice. Nice is often an under-appreciated word but there is no better word to describe him, he spent time talking to Jack and telling all of us that nothing would hold him back (which we know full well). He looked me in the eyes while he was speaking with us and you could see that he gets what it means to parent someone like himself. I would love to talk with his mother and get some pointers. Because while nothing will hold Jack back, it’s still my job (and Simon’s) to make sure he believes that and approaches life with confidence and courage. And just because nothing should hold him back, it doesn’t mean that no one will try to hold him back, thinking that his lack of a fully-developed hand means he can’t do X or Y. It simply means he’ll have to do some things differently, sometimes working harder and having to prove himself a little bit more than others.

Jim noted that his second grade teacher taught him how to tie his shoes – figuring out a way to do it with just one hand – and this is the way he still ties his shoes to this day. I pray for people like that in Jack’s life, people who will help him navigate the difficulties and teach him important lessons. Jim also mentioned in his book that classrooms were often where he felt most awkward or conspicuous because those were the places where the most questions would come up. And as he mentions in the video below, his parents taught him just to introduce himself and not hold back, to not be shy simply because of the hand he was dealt (pun intended).

Below is a video from CBS Sunday Morning on Jim’s life and career (and hand). Please watch it – but warning, like me, you might cry – especially at the end but it is so worth watching, unless you have no interest in being inspired.

I watch that and I can’t help but think about how his mother must have felt when he pitched the no-hitter, not because he doesn’t have a right hand but because every mother wants one of those amazing moments for their child – I want one for Liam as much as I want one for Jack. A moment where there is no place in the world you’d rather be and everyone is cheering you on. Not having a right hand certainly makes the moment sweeter, but as Jim notes in the interview, he didn’t think at all about his hand that day, it was about baseball, being a part of the Yankees and living his dream. If I doubt that Jack will pitch a no-hitter, it has nothing to do with his hand or thinking that it isn’t possible but more to do with the fact that he’s more likely to play soccer or rugby because those are sports that Simon is into. If he does take an interest in baseball, I know that the possibilities are endless – Jim Abbott proves that and Jack would have an amazing person to look up to. A perfectly imperfect person just like him who he got a chance to meet (despite whether or not he remembers it).

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Posted in Life in general, Parenting, Symbrachydactyly