Things that perplex me

  • Why I need to fax copies of my marriage license, driver’s license and social security card to the gas company in order to change my last name on my account from my maiden name to my married name (yes, I have been married EIGHT years and haven’t done this yet because I have to fax all those documents – which is a slight improvement over eight years ago when they required you to go in person with said documentation to change your last name [aside: when I called customer service to see if I could do it over the phone, the person congratulated me on my marriage and I had to sheepishly tell her, actually, I got married eight years ago, I’ve just never made the name change; thankfully she laughed.]). Yet, when I called the credit card company they asked for ZERO proof and made the change over the phone. Is there some high fraud problem with utilities and name changes that I am unaware of? It seems a bit much.
  • Why my son (Liam) feels the need to question everything I tell him. For example, I told him he didn’t have to take a lunch to daycare today because he was getting Jimmy John’s every Wednesday, he questioned, “Are you sure? How do you know?” I would understand if he were an overall suspicious child or if I was unusually flaky and or often wrong about things but none of those things are true. Instead, he just questions me and I find myself very frequently saying, “Because I said so.” Or asking him, “Why do you think I don’t know things?” I blame Simon.
  • The new wave of boy bands. One Direction and The Wanted. At least our generations boy bands actually looked like boys/men and have you heard Justin Timberlake? He can actually sing and is witty to boot.
  • People who look graceful running. If ever I took up running, I am 100% positive I would never do it with grace and if I ever thought I was looking smooth and serene, I’m sure I would actually look like Pheobe running:

  • How Jack is always hungry. The kid will be stuffed and unable to eat one more bite at dinner (and in his defense will mostly have eaten everything I put in front of him) and within 10 minutes of being done, he’s “starving” once again. Bottomless pit, albeit a picky, bottomless pit.
  • Why all technology can’t be plug and play.
  • Why my phone suddenly started audibly responding to my Google searches. Yesterday I used the voice command for the following inquiry: “Costco Grand Rapids hours of operation” and my phone answered, “Costco is not open, it will open at 10 this morning.” Um, thank you. And also, creepy.
  • Why, despite my advanced age, I like show offerings from The CW.
  • Why I cannot resist buying things at Target, Costco and IKEA.
  • Why I am a procrastinator.
  • How intense swimming lessons look a lot like the teacher is drowning my child. I am not worried about this because I know they are not going to drown and obviously this method works since 100s of children have been taught to swim by this person, but my goodness, it’s… well, intense.
  • How I can be dead tired at 2 in the afternoon and wide awake at 2 in the morning despite not having slept at all between those times.
  • How Jack can NEVER nap and has not napped since he was 2 and will randomly fall asleep on a 20-minute car ride.
  • How my husband doesn’t trust my medical judgement when I tell him I think he has sleep apnea but our friend (yes, our friend who is ACTUALLY a doctor) says that it sounds like Simon might have sleep apnea and should have a sleep study done and Simon thinks it might be worth looking into. Okay, that one I can understand, but how can I not keep from saying, “I told you so?”
  • How it is nearly July already.
  • How Simon and I could both think an Indian dish we had at a lunch buffet was chicken and yet the food sign said “V” for vegetarian. Whatever it was, it was delicious. Also delicious: butter chicken and naan.
  • Why my dog loses his ever-loving mind when he sees anything out of the ordinary happening outside our house; I cannot wait until he sees deer and turkeys our our windows at the new house.
  • Whether or not it is terrible that I am letting my children believe the invisible fence at our new house will also work on them if they try and leave our yard.
  • Why Liam is insisting he get to do something special with Simon for his birthday but is apathetic about whether or not Jack and I come along with them. [He actually sighed and said, “I guess you guys can come, too.”] Apparently, Jack and I = chopped liver. Jack, I can understand, for they have a typical love-hate sibling relationship, but me, I’m the giver to good gifts, organizer of play dates and purchaser of toys and fruit snacks, I should be on the good list, too.
  • All the different kinds of life insurance.
  • Why boxes can’t just pack themselves; related: how we got so much stuff.

4 responses to “Things that perplex me

  1. The thought of touching everything you own to pack it and bring it to a new home is terrifying… let me know how it goes šŸ™‚

  2. This is why I normally move between countries rather than locally, that way I dont feel guilty about getting rid of everything and just buying new stuff rather than packing and moving.

    • Trans-country movies would be both liberating and overwhelming… I think we’ll hit the just get rid of stuff phase, even moving across the same city šŸ™‚

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