What the neighbors must think…

Almost daily the following scene plays out:

• The kids are happily occupied with an activity so I decide to take the opportunity to use the bathroom (hey, it happens – every day, remember?).
• I’ve learned my lesson and quickly lock the door behind me, but otherwise do not broadcast my intentions to the little rugrats in the house unless I want someone to join me.
• Inevitably, the moment I am indisposed, Jack will aggravate Liam.
• This aggravation will result in Liam a) yelling at Jack, b) doing something to Jack and making him cry, c) slamming his bedroom door or d) all of the above.
• Liam’s bad behavior results in two things: Jack crying and George barking like a maniacal little dog.
• Since I am indisposed, I have two choices: remain silent and pretend I don’t hear anything OR yell (rather loudly) through the bathroom door for everyone to just be quiet (mainly to get George to stop barking his fool head off). You can guess which option I go with.
• I’d imagine the neighbors are highly entertained, or at the very least, far too knowledgeable about what goes on in our house, specifically when I’m in the bathroom. (Perhaps this explains why they keep showing up to give us random things like gift certificates their kids earned through a summer reading program, an Entertainment Book and extra boxes of markers and crayons – they want to see if we are running a circus.)