For the birthday boy who today is three

Oh how I love that face and that boy, my little Jackers Knackers. I can hardly believe it has been THREE years since you entered our lives. You came into this world so appropriately, three quick pushes and all in a hurry to be out here and in the mess. [Sidenote, my doctor was still in the parking garage when I told the nurse I wanted to start pushing – thankfully she made it in time.] You came so quickly that you earned yourself a little trip to the NICU because your lungs needed a little more drying out and you were, after all, a month early but like you have continued to do, you exceeded our expectations and surpassed any limits we foolishly thought existed. You were the giant baby in the NICU, hanging out in a normal bassinet, showing up those tiny premmies in the isolettes next to you – it was quite ridiculous to see you there once you got your oxygen levels and eating figured out. And it’s been pretty much non-stop since that day and I gotta ask you, can you give your mommy a little break? I promise I just need like a weekend where you aren’t into something or pouring chocolate onto the couch then I’ll be good to go for the next year. Okay? Let’s pinky swear on that one.

You are just such a cutie that all of it is forgivable – God certainly knows what He’s doing when He makes the cute ones so much trouble; a cute face will earn forgiveness for many things. And you are still my baby, even at three and even though you NEVER cuddle with me (aside from those five nights since we got back from Australia where you’ve decided that you are done sleeping and want to have a cuddle on the couch with your mommy and while I would love to be sleeping, I would much rather have the chance to hold you in my arms because that NEVER ever happens. Have I mentioned NEVER?); but yet, you’re our baby and I’m in denial that you’re really a “big boy.” Break my heart.

You pooped on the potty Friday night for the babysitter – a first, a huge first – and I actually got a little teary when I saw the text from her. Sad that I missed such a big occasion and sad because the inevitable is happening and you are finally deciding that the potty isn’t as horrible as you thought. [Dear future Jack – sorry, I told the Internet you pooped on the potty and it made me teary. Not really sure who that’s more embarassing for, so let’s call it even.]

You are growing up. FYI – kiddo, because you are growing up, it’s time to pass those nighttime pacifiers on to a new baby and potty boot camp is in full effect – that’s what you get for growing up, but I promise you’ll thank me when you’re a teenager who doesn’t need a hit on a paci to get to sleep and can qipe his own bum.

While we were in Oz you suddenly physically grew – legs stretching out to fit your 3T pants, torso elongating so many of the t-shirts we brought suddenly were a little on the short side. You are losing the roundness of toddlerhood, your belly no longer protruding as it once did. I’m not the first mother to bemoan the loss of their baby as he grows into a boy and you’re not even my first child to go through this, but it feels new all over again.

I adore how you stick your lips out to give me kisses. How you slump your shoulders forward to pout. How you stomp your foot on the floor to prove a point. How you stare at the top of the fridge where we keep our snacks and thoughtfully say, “I want some-fing!” How you call out, demanding hugs and kisses, if we leave your room without giving them to your satisfaction. How you don’t disguise your feelings one bit and have the most awesome angry face I’ve ever seen. How you are never held back by what you can’t do (because the list is so very tiny in comparison to the one of the things you CAN do). How you so want to be doing whatever it is that Liam’s doing but you never let on that you look up to him and have to antagonize him at every turn (well, I don’t adore this part so much, but I love that you love each other, even if you show it in funny ways).

I love that you are mine and I am yours and all together with Liam and daddy, we are a family.

Happy birthday, my sweet boy, today you are three!