More funny text exchanges

I got a new phone a couple months ago because it was time for a free upgrade and my old phone was getting “quirky” the only sadness in this is that my new phone doesn’t show the number of text messages sent between myself and the other person. This does mean Simon can no longer make fun of me for the number of messages between certain people but now I can no longer judge the value of my friendships by how much I text that person.* I also was able to keep my old phone so my texting history is forever preserved on that piece of technology… I should probably guard it more carefully, but I’m not exchanging government secrets via text (and really, no one should be exchanging government secrets via text, that would be plain stooopid).

Anywho, I thought you would enjoy another edition of Funny Text Exchanges…

Me: We haven’t texted since Monday, is there something wrong with us?
Her: That’s the weirdest thing ever.

Me: You need to make yourself a reminder note that says “Dear Satan, STFU.”
Her: Ooh… we should make that on bracelets.
Me: Craft night!

Me: I cleaned all day Saturday… not my favorite [understatement of the century]
Her: Nor my gift.
Me: I rather hate it but I also hate stepping on hard toys and in sticky messes. [clearly my general cleaning standards are a bit lax]

Me: I just had a visit from your husband.
Her: I’m sure it was nothing less than pleasant.

Me: Can’t hang out tomorrow… will be on a break from real life with my college girls
Her: Just tell your college friends you’d rather hang out with me and our seven kids 🙂
Me: Wait… seven
Me: Are you pregnant? Because I am not.
Her: Sorry I can’t count

Her: I honestly don’t know what I’d do if there weren’t all of these music shows on… I am successfully wasting hours each night
Me: That’s me with so many forms of television

Me: Happy thanksgiving to you! So thankful to have you in my life!
Her: So thankful we found each other.
Her: I mean – not in a weird way.

Her: Just ate a dunkin donuts jelly donut and thought of you [I worked there in high school]
Me: I had a mcd’s diet coke yesterday and thought of you

Her: How did it go?
Me: They were wonderful… lulled into submission by Mexican food (and by Mexican food, I mean fries)

Her: Ugh – I hate sheets almost as much as I hate baths.
Me: Liam threw up in his sleep. Strange. Even more strange that we didn’t discover it happened until he went to go to bed last night.
Her: Ha! And ew. That is strange. He didn’t smell like puke this morning?
Me: Nope… it appears he just threw up off his pillow, no other mess. That is talent.
Her: Nice. We all have our own skills. Some more impressive than others.

Me: Wanna hang out sometime
Her: That would be dreamy

Me: Want to continue our cookie decorating tradition?
Her: Are we brave enough to attempt that?
Me: At your house 🙂

Her: Uh oh
Her: Just realized you left the dip
Me: Phew, thought it was puke related… I now live in fear we are going to infect the world
Her: I will start that more like: you jerk

Me: Got a new phone. I have lost our million text messages.
Her: What!?
Me: My message count is now 3
Her: Four

Me: What, you don’t want to include us in family time?
Her: I’m a cold hearted snake

Me: Another mom just parked next to me and applied new hairspray before getting out of her car to pick up her kid.
Me: I was totally judging her… bad me
Her: Yes, for shame on you for judging us thin-haired static-sufferers
Me: I am contrite.

*If you think that statement is true then I shake my head at you… some of my favorite people don’t text and I still love them greatly.


One response to “More funny text exchanges

  1. Love these. I like to play the “guess who ‘her’ is” game as I read them. 🙂

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