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Tuesday Grace Letters: Dear Rooks Girls

Posted on March 11, 2014 | 8 comments

Mundane Faithfulness

The assignment: Write a letter of love and gratitude to someone who has made a difference in your story. A letter of thanks to someone from your past that has changed your tomorrows. Someone who has loved you well and taught you about life. Write them a letter of love and grace.

I wrote this letter in response to the assignment from Kara at Mundane Faithfulness… click the image or the link to read more letters from other bloggers and to learn more about Kara and her heartbreakingly amazing story.

Trying to figure out who to write that letter to… so very many people come to mind. My parents; my youth group leaders; my middle school teacher, Mr. Small; my high school teacher, Mr. Sanders; my husband; my children and other members of my family… those are all people who without a doubt have had an impact on my life and my story but then it came to me and I knew who it was going to be. My Rooks girls… my college friends who all landed, along with me, on the first floor of our dorm (Rooks-VanDellen) our freshman year at Calvin out of sheer luck (and a little divine intervention). Ladies… I’m already crying.

There were ten of us: Michelle, Kara, Julie, Jenny, Lisa, Sarah, Jonna, Pauline, Amy and Tracey – all strangers (for the most part – Julie I have known my entire life and while she wasn’t on our floor the first year, she joined us there sophomore year), all from different backgrounds and geographic locations and not one of us from Grand Rapids. We came to Calvin for different reasons: it was engrained in our CRC (Christian Reformed Church) blood, we wanted a Christian education, someone we knew went to Calvin and loved it, whatever the reason, however the decision was made, I know we ended up there because God knew we needed each other.

I have mentioned my First Rooks girls in multiples posts as people I am thankful for and about things/people I love. I have said they are my heart (and they are) and I have expressed my love for one gal in particular during a very scary time in her life but I can never say enough how much I love these women and express adequately in words how much they have meant to me in my life. Since the fall of 1996, not one week has gone by that I don’t see, talk to or communicate with in some way at least one of these women – I almost could say not a single day has gone by but I did go to Kazakhstan for 6 weeks during one summer and then I didn’t have the best communication opportunities. I have other wonderful, awesome friends (many of whom are reading this and I hope they know that I love, love, love them, too) and this in no way demeans those friendships that I have with my non-Rooks girls, but something about this group and the time in my life when we became friends means they are precious and sacred to me and beyond blessings in my life – no matter where they are now or how long it has been since we talked – because of them, I am who I am today.

They have seen my worst, pettiest self and still love me. They have stood by me through sadness and tragedy. They have made bad choices right alongside me and laughed with me at life’s absurdities. We have had dance parties in the hallway, endless evenings filled with conversation, desserts and Diet Coke, bridal and baby showers galore and inside jokes that make our husbands roll their eyes. We have celebrated things big and small and cuddled each others’ babies. I refer to them as “Aunt so-and-so” to my kids and I think/hope that their children and my children will treat each other like family as they get older – we have family we are born into and when we are really lucky, we get family we choose as well. Our lives can never be overly filled with people who love us. I pray for friends like these for my own children.

But their impact goes beyond moments and memories; from my favorite people I’ve learned:

following God’s direction and calling doesn’t always make sense
sometimes keeping silent is a better choice than speaking your mind
sometimes you need to speak your mind, despite fearing how the other person will respond
asking for help is okay, it does not show weakness
asking others how you can help them is important because sometimes they can’t ask for themselves
a phone call or a card in the mail for no reason is often God at work and there is great reason for it
friendships take time and investment but even the passage of time will not ruin true friendships
I am loved and lovable and have good things to offer the world – they more than cement this knowledge
you can be overjoyed with your own news and at the same time be totally heartbroken for a friend who is hurt by that news
it’s more than okay to be ridiculous and do dumb things, to let people see you in your cozies with your zit cream on or hear you sing (out of tune) at the top of your lungs and do stupid dances that make you look less than elegant
Double Stuff Oreo cookies are the best
television shows are better-enjoyed with friends
real friends will still love you when you watch the same clip from a made-for-tv movie over and over again because Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s back is/was hot and, in fact, will watch with you all of those times; they will also cry with you for more minutes than you care to recall after viewing Luke Perry’s movie, “Eight Seconds”
judgement and mean spirited-ness have no place in friendship

Because of you, I met my husband and have my little boys. From you ladies I’ve learned how to be a better person, a better wife, a better mother and a better friend. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you if you needed me. Thanks for taking the high school version of myself and helping turn her into the person she is today. Love you, Michelle

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Posted in Friendship, Gratitude, Life in general, Tuesday Grace Letters

February Photo a Day Faves

Posted on March 9, 2014 | 2 comments

I love Instagram and was so glad when it finally became available for Andoid phones after only being available on iPhones for so long… I won’t even hold that oversight against them. Last month someone linked to a photo-a-day prompt from Fat Mum Slim and I thought, why not join in? Little did I know that it was a monthly thing so after completing February, I started again in March… it’s fun, though some days are harder than others to come up with something, but it keeps me posting something daily which is a great way to look back at what’s going on with life (even when I just take screen caps of an Amazon page because I can’t think of anything for a particular prompt (day 11: mistake, I’m looking at you!). Here are some of my favorites from February:

Day 1: You – This is me, fresh-faced and first thing in the morning. I did add a filter to remove the redness but that’s as glamorous as it gets around here.

Day 2: Favourite – love the Australia spelling 😉 And love my Australian boys

Day 3: Something orange – my lucky fin bead – always on my wrist.

Day 6: Water – (or coffee made from water)

Day 9: Details – one of the boys’ Lego man creations complete with armor and a bow tie.

Day 10: I am… at work. I’m sure the stack of papers under my monitor give Simon heart palpitations.

Day 16: Create – A card Liam made for me… so sweet!

Day 24: Half – Jack always runs to the back door to say goodbye to me when I leave him at daycare… and while he’s there, so is half of my heart!

Day 25: Cut – my muscular boys who love running around with no shirts on. What are they going to do when it is actually hot outside instead of below freezing?

Day 27: My view today – vegged out boys about to start a game of “fight” if only they can stop watching TV for a few seconds.

Day 28: Reflection – Is it any wonder blow-drying my hair makes me so hot?

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Our life via Instagram

Posted on March 7, 2014 | 1 comment

Whoops – it’s been quite a while since I re-posted my Instagram pics, now with added commentary! Oooh.

So way back last year my friend, Heidi, had her fifth baby – the gorgeous, wonderfully sweet Landry. I could cuddle her for ages – and one afternoon I got to do just that. Though that link up there is just for reference since she hasn’t updated her blog in a YEAR – it’s like she has five kids or something to keep her busy… where is her dedication to her blog, I ask you?

Liam got to visit Santa and get his face painted, all at a local furniture store – where else?

Have you had this? In your coffee? On the rocks? It is yum.

My personal elf on the shelf! (Please note our Australian artwork that I finally got framed 7 years after we purchased it – nothing like a new house to spur on decorating.)

Jack at his Christmas program at daycare… cutest reindeer on earth!

My all-star dental patients – ZERO cavities for the whole family (well, those of us there that day – Simon wasn’t as lucky).

Snow + rain = using a sled as an umbrella.

Liam’s Christmas present to us that he made at school – one of my favorites from the collection we have going on our tree.

Winter wonderland – little did we know it was just the beginning of the winter of our discontent.

Our Christmas Eve greeting from the whole family (did you see George in my arms?).

The cousins who get in trouble together, stay together – isn’t that how the saying goes? Those boys are trouble when left unattended – and yet we let it happen. In this instance, they stood and colored on each others’ faces with marker.

Without comment.

Between Christmas and New Year’s we visited our friends in Cleveland. We ate yummy food, had fun and visited Trader Joe’s – a perfect trip!

Simon brought me this surprisingly delicious apple pie with bacon milkshake (I realize it sounds horrible but it was freaking delicious).

The Ohio Turnpike – where children meltdown and Einstein Bros Bagels can be found – you win some, you lose some.

Our New Year’s Eve festivities – nachos and hard cider. If you have a stoneware pan highly recommend it for nacho baking – the cheese stays melty and delicious!

Ready to cheer on the Spartans at the Rose Bowl (from our living room).

A rare smile from my favorite college football coach.

The many faces of Jack – the kid is just so lifeless, I mean, really.

Much less animated George.

No Stress Chess… falsely making kids think they can play chess.

A coffee for the wee one.

Thrown back to toddler Liam – what a little ham.

Love’s ice cream from the Downtown Market for our little love.

He was sitting there with his finger in his nose so I told him I was going to take a picture – he didn’t move. Apparently he doesn’t think my threats hold any water. Won’t he be sorry in 20 years when this pops up in his wedding photo collage?

Every once and a while they get along…

The “new” house has spurred me into seasonal decorating. I’ve switched these hearts (Pinterest win!) out for spring paper and eggs for Easter.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do at a restaurant but take a picture while your kid licks salt off the table. It’s called choosing your battles.

Lucky for Simon, Words with Friends doesn’t use the teenage boy humor dictionary.

Jack turned five and having a dad who works at night means getting to open birthday presents first thing in the morning.

Throw back to the brothers’ Bennett first meeting each other. Jack was still in the NICU and Liam was pretty unimpressed with it all.

Messing around with selfies. We might be related.

Jack requested an “every color” cake for his birthday – Pinterest delivered the goods once again.

Love.

Valentine roses from my sweetie.

Valentine’s cuddles with my furry sweetie.

Polor vortex, take three billion.

My MOPS group did this thing called 1:16 (based on Ruth 1:16) where we were each given the name of another woman and we anonymously showered them with treats and prayer over a couple week period and at the end revealed our identities at a girl’s night out event at church. I received an envelope to open each day with words of encouragement and three of the days included gift cards. It was the best thing to open those envelopes each day!

Again, his lack of personality is just so evident.

Yup.

And the big brother, also a wall flower.

Have you heard of Social Print Studio and Printstagram? You can print your Instagram photos from their website – super good quality and quick turnaround (I ordered on Thursday and got my mini books on Monday).

Simon was on call last weekend and got called in at the same time I had plans to meet two friends for coffee so rather than bail, we packed up our electronics, headphones and snacks and I got to chat with my girls while my boys were entertained. We’re at the golden age where the kids can be taken in public again. Well, almost, the day before this my children got in a physical brawl at Meijer while we were waiting at the deli to get our cheese sliced – so we’re not quite out of the woods yet, but almost. There was punching and angry yelling – it was awesome! Freedom… I can almost smell it.

There are more from February to share – but I’m saving those for another post of my favorites from the photo a day prompts from Chantelle at Fat Mum Slim.

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Tuesday Grace Letters: Dear future self

Posted on March 4, 2014 | 3 comments

I wrote this letter in response to the assignment from Kara at Mundane Faithfulness… click the image at the bottom of the post to read more letters from other bloggers and to learn more about Kara and her heartbreakingly amazing story.

The assignment: I want to you write a letter of grace to yourself 10 years from today. Include pictures of your life now, but hopes and dreams and fears you have for yourself, your loves, your life in ten years.

Dear 2024,
Ten years into the future doesn’t seem like a long time until I consider the ten years that have just passed – 2004 seems like a lifetime ago. So I think it is safe to say that another ten years will seem like another lifetime. Wow.
I will be fast-approaching 50 – likely more than halfway through life (Lord willing). I don’t know the heartaches that will have been felt and lived through, though I can imagine what they might be, I pray they don’t seem like too much to handle and that you remember to turn to God for strength – He will always carry you, especially when taking another step just doesn’t seem doable. He will also give you the best blessings and gifts you will ever know, be thankful for each and every thing. I pray you grow closer to Him, putting him ever first. I pray you love your family above all other people and serve them well. I pray that you are content with life – in spite of any challenges and that any area that feels like it is lacking is simply a blip on the screen, or an opportunity for growth and learning. May you be blessed with friendships to sustain you and love to surround you and a confidence in yourself and your abilities that allows you to let go of anxiety.

My dear husband… you’ll be hitting 50 just before me. And we’ll be approaching almost 20 years of marriage – in fact, I will have known you a greater part of my life than the part that came before I knew you. I often forget that you don’t know all the details of the time before you were around – not that I’ve kept anything from you, just simply that you weren’t already a part of it, you are so much a part of my life now, you fit perfectly and know me so well. I pray the years of working opposite shifts and single-parenting our kids are long behind us, that we will look to this current stage of our lives and know we are stronger for it, having made it through to the other side of this seemingly endless stretch that is having two younger BOYS and parenting in mostly single-shifts. I pray for good health and no knee replacements (darn rugby). I pray that you become the man that God wants you to be and grow in your faith and step into leading our family spiritually – setting the very best example of what a godly man can and should be for our two young men. I pray you feel loved most by God, then me and then our boys – that you know you are cherished, even when we humans fail at showing you that.
Liam – you will be turning 18 this year – practical adulthood by legal standards. You’ll be completing high school and heading out onto college (I sure hope) – leaving our home to launch into the real world (or as real as college gets). I am so excited to see the person you’re going to become – I get glimpses from time to time with the things you tell me and how you treat your friends. You have the potential to be so kind and generous, I pray that you lean in that direction and turn away from your impulses toward anger and frustration, that you train your heart to respond in love and empathy. You are a sponge for learning – about the world, about music, about God, about anything and everything – I pray you always absorb what the world has to offer you, discerning what is good and worth keeping and discarding the things that will hold you back. I pray you have someone to look to for guidance (whether myself, your dad or someone else), someone who is your voice of reason and sounding board. That you have built friendships that will last a lifetime and that make you a better man. I pray that you learn from your mistakes and never have to repeat them. I hope that you and Jack will be best friends, he’s the brother God gave you and you two will have each other no matter where you go in life. I’m excited for you to be starting a new stage in your life… heading out into the first step in adulthood, hopefully we have prepared you and you look to God first.
Jack, Jack, Jack – you will be 15 and no doubt itching to be heading off the college like your brother but you’ll still have a few more years. At five, you’ve long felt that your life is just one long, unfair game of catch-up with your older brother – I hope that at 15, you’ve discovered the precious truth that playing catch-up is not the way to go and that there is a path set out just for you that has nothing to do with following along behind your brother. God put you second in the birth order for a reason, He has plans for you. You are on the cusp of adulthood, still dependent on us for rides to get you from place to place, straining to be just that little bit older. I pray for contentment for you, the same as with me, that you find happiness where you are, not where/who/what you think you ought to be. I pray that God safeguards your heart against frustration when it comes to your hand and gives you friends who make anyone who can’t see past that difference just not matter. I pray that just as you need strength, that you will also be given a gentleness that will allow you to love and let others in… your independence is a good thing but it should not keep you from needing others in your life.

I pray that both of my boys, nearly men, look to God for guidance, comfort and wisdom. That they are beacons of light in the world. That they will love us as parents and friends, and always delight in coming home.
George (I’m not going to pretend he’ll be reading this but he is a part of our family)… our first “practice” child, born the day before we got married. Just the other day Jack started crying because Liam was talking about the dog we theoretically will get when George dies and my sweet youngest didn’t “want Georgie to die.” Me neither. But that heartache will come, through hopefully not for many more years. Our lives are better for having loved and cared for our neurotic little pet.

No matter what has happened, I pray we have no regrets, no worries that cannot be handled and lives warmed by friendships, laughter and faith.

We are never promised easy, but we are promised heaven and all the rest is part of the journey.

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Posted in Contentment, Faith, Family, Life in general, Tuesday Grace Letters, who is ememby, Writing

It’s the morning

Posted on February 28, 2014 | 3 comments

A week or so ago I happened upon a gadget that seemed perfect for our house… a waterproof, rechargeable bluetooth speaker so we could listen to our music in the shower (just streaming it from our phones wasn’t loud enough to hear over the water). It was an impulse purchase, made possible by using Amazon points from our credit card so I didn’t have to pay anything for it and it arrived a day later thanks to Amazon Prime shipping… gotta love that.

I like music, Simon likes music and our kids both like music… it makes our lives happier. Being able to listen to it first thing when I’m just waking up in the shower, yes, it’s a luxury, but it’s also a great way to start the day. And watching the kids bop around in the bathtub while they listen to their favorites (“Everything Is AWESOME!” from the Lego movie is currently on repeat, endless repeat), well, that just makes my heart happy. It’s a simple thing, but one that has made a happy difference to us.

This morning a song I have heard a hundred times, including live during one of the multiple occasions I’ve seen David Gray in concert, came on and the lyrics really struck me:

Please be patient with your life… it’s the morning and you’re still to live your day.

We rush through life, in a hurry to get to the next thing… waiting expectantly for what’s to come. But sometimes we’re called to wait, to pause, to have patience. To enjoy the moment and where we are and to realize that better things are still to come but great things are currently happening. And if we are in the midst of difficulty, to remember that it is [perhaps] just the beginning of the story, that there is more to come; nothing is final. The day is just dawning. There is still more life to be lived. The rest of the day is still to come.

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