And there it is…

I anticipated this, as well I should have, the anxiety that comes with change. It’s normal and it’s natural but boy does it suck. I would love to be a cool cucumber and not worry and I thought I was going a pretty good job but my sore jaw (from clenching my teeth in my sleep) would be a good indicator that I have a mite bit of anxiety. It’s funny, I trust that God is in control, I trust that we are following sound advice and I trust that we are making the right decisions and yet I can still hear the little voices that tell me otherwise.

Dear voices (i.e., that pesky devil): Please shut your pie hole. Muchas gracias. You are not welcome here, now or ever. Sincerely, Me

The first time you go through a house you love, the only things you see are the things that you love… the second time, when you go through with someone who you are asking to pick it apart and uncover any issues, well, you see the issues – even if they are comparably insignificant and very overshadowed by the good. I don’t know about you, but the issues, those are the things that cause me grief. But when I bought our current house, the realtor told me (extreme paraphrasing here, I’m sure): in every good home sale, both parties feel a sense of anxiety that they are the ones losing out, the ones drawing the short straw, when in reality, both are both winning, you’re just both compromising to reach an final decision. What is it about compromise that makes us feel like we are losing? Also, there is the small detail of the unknown of our house selling, stranger things have happened; despite the unlikelihood of it NOT selling, it’s still a variable in this all.

So, today, I need the reminder: anxiety does nothing for me. Trusting that God is in control, no matter what the outcome, that will give me peace. In the meantime, I’ll be taking an Aleve for my jaw and any prayers and happy thoughts you’d like to send my way.