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Five Question Friday – First of 2013

Posted on January 11, 2013 | 3 comments

Hi folks… It’s been a while since I’ve participated in Five Question Friday so here it is! But first, I’m thrilled to tell you that not one but TWO people found my blog yesterday by googling the phrase “his penis and testicles surgically removed.” For real. I have arrived people. Sorry you did not find what you were looking for here and also, really?

1. Flu mist? Flu shot? Or take your chances?
I have gotten a flu shot a couple times in my life, I don’t really tend to get the flu but when I have gotten a flu shot, those seasons I have actually gotten the flu. But it is bad this year and I know too many babies so a flu shot is a must have.

2. Do your kids have iPads? What are some good educational apps? Price?
Our kids don’t have iPads but we as a family have an iPad. We actually need some suggestions for educational apps because right now they use it to play Temple Run, decorate gingerbread cookies, play Where’s my Perry? and watch Amazon Instant Videos. And each night at bedtime they ask to watch this video:

3. What are your favorite boy/girl baby names?
I feel like I already answered this here, here and here (at least I’m consistent), but just to reiterate for those who don’t want to click through: I love both Liam and Jack for boy names equally, 100% love. And if we to have had a girl, we would have gone with Fiona.

4. If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, which apple do you choose to eat? (red/green, gala, red delicious…)
Gala, Pink Lady or Honeycrisp. Perhaps a Golden Delicious, but I’ve been burned by too many soft or mealy ones. And NEVER a Red Delicious – I really can’t understand why people like this kind of apple (Simon doesn’t mind them).

5. What is your favorite place to escape to for peace & quiet, to think? Why?
Coffee shop with headphones on and Pandora streaming. Why? Because, COFFEE and MUSIC and ME TIME… what’s not to like? I like to pretend I’m all cool and coffee shoppy when I do this, like I’ve got all the time in the world (instead of a couple hours before Simon will start texting me to inquire about when I might be coming home) and nothing else to do (there are always a 100 other things you could be doing). Bliss.

Linking up with Mama M for Five Question Friday.

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Posted in Five Question Friday

Found lacking? I don’t think so.

Posted on January 8, 2013 | 8 comments

Source: etsy.com

I have been tossing this topic around in my head for the last couple weeks or so. Since Jack “graduated” from having to go back to the orthopedic surgeon for any future checkups, we really haven’t had any issues or incidents with his hand. Not to say I don’t notice when others stare at it – both children and adults and a natural reaction, one I have had myself – or that we haven’t talked with people about it (something I absolutely don’t mind doing because education and pride are the two things we can do to open other people’s minds about limb differences), but nothing out of the ordinary. But at some point in December, both Liam and Jack expressed a desire for Jack to have two big hands. Liam said it first and thankfully Jack did not overhear him saying it to me. And then we were in the checkout at the grocery store when Jack said it to me. It cuts right through my heart to hear either of them say something like that, but especially Jack because despite all the times we tell him he is special and that God made him that way and that his little hand is no different from how God made other people different, he has measured himself by the standards of others and found himself lacking, wanting more. It does not surprise me that those feelings are there, but it still breaks my heart.

Both occasions were random occurrences, we hadn’t been talking about Jack’s little hand or hadn’t witnessed Jack having difficulty doing something because of his little hand, they were just out of the blue comments like kids often make. In Liam’s case, I asked him why he thought that – he responded because most people had two big hands. And I matter-of-factually reiterated that God made Jack that way and that while it was true that most people had two big hands, there were plenty of people who had other differences that made them stand out like being very tall or very short, or having to wear glasses or hearing aids, or not having legs, etc… And then I reminded him that Jack would be able to do almost anything with his two hands as they were, just like Jim Abbott who we had met during the summer. Oh yeah, he said, I guess I just wish it was different. I gently told him that I hoped he never said that to Jack because it might hurt his feelings.

In Jack’s case, I simply reminded him that God didn’t make him that way and that instead he chose to make him special with a lucky fin, or a lucky little hand. And then I told him that I love his little hand and that he is going to do anything he wants to in life. And then I smiled broadly at him and at the man behind us in line who was intently listening to our conversation because I will not miss the opportunity to make sure Jack knows that I think he is awesome and to make sure that other people know as well. But, goodness, it’s not easy navigating these waters.

And then yesterday, on the way home from daycare, Jack was doing his usual routine of how no one plays with him at daycare… which, for the record, he says all the time and his teachers assure me that he is the ringleader of their activities – something I have witnessed myself when he doesn’t know I am watching – but I still feel myself getting all mama bear in those moments, thinking of the possibility of those other four-year-olds hurting my kid’s feelings. But this time, he said, “They didn’t want to play with me because of my hand.” Gulp. Who knows if this true, or a perception that Jack has, or just something he has made up because he knows it will get a reaction out of me. Whatever the reason, I think there is something I need to do here, but I am not sure what. What would you do if you were in my shoes? A letter to the other parents explaining Jack’s limb difference and giving them some talking points for their own kids to help educate them about how it is not anything wrong with him or a reason to not be his friend? Suggest a class viewing of Finding Nemo and prompt the teachers to talk about how Nemo didn’t let his smaller fin hold him back and that he helped make him awesome, just like Jack? At the very least, I’ll be talking to his teachers and getting their thoughts/observations. But this is just the tip of proverbial iceberg, as these occurrences will happen more often as he grows up and is in school full time, and he will become more aware of his difference and the attention it draws from other people.

So do me a favor, if you are a parent, please talk to your kids about differences in people and how they should react to and treat someone with a difference, which is: NO DIFFERENT THAN HOW THEY WOULD TREAT ANYONE ELSE. Explain to them that all people are different in one way or another. Prompt them to think about how they would feel if someone didn’t want to be their friend because they have curly hair or freckles, or perhaps were missing part of their hand. Reiterate that some differences can be a challenge for the person, but that the possibilities are limitless. Look up videos and articles on the Internet about people who have limb differences so your kids can see how awesome they are: Tony Memmel, Jim Abbott, Nick Newell, Kevin Laue, Kevin Connolly, Oscar Pistorius, are just a few. And if your kids (or you) have questions about Jack’s hand, ask them, because it’s natural to be curious and we don’t mind. Plus I want to make sure that Jack grows up talking about his hand and not hiding it his sleeve or ever being ashamed of it. I never want him to find himself lacking, but instead to be assured that God has given him more than enough to succeed in life.

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Posted in Parenting, Symbrachydactyly

Monday Randoms

Posted on January 7, 2013 | Leave a comment

Happy Monday to you! For many of us here in the States, it’s back to school/reality after a couple weeks off for Christmas break (or winter break as the politically correct call it). My reality came last week when Simon went back to work after 10 days off… having my evenings to myself again is only good because I can chew snack foods while watching TV without someone giving me the stink eye. According to Simon, I chew very loudly and am distracting when he is trying to concentrate on important things like Chopped or The Good Wife. To him I say, “Pshaw.” And also, “Miss you, honey.”

So, back to the normal routine, minus a Music Monday post because I’ve exhausted that topic the last couple weeks – though I will say I’ve already downloaded two albums in 2013… so we’re off to a great start on that front!

I am doing a 3-day Herbalife detox, starting today, to cleanse the system and reset cravings with the hope of kick-starting another healthy streak. Wish me luck. By the end of the day I will have drank over 2 gallons of liquid (consuming 60+ grams of protein). I’m halfway through and really tired of drinking, but it’s not so bad. [Talk to me again at 8 tonight.]
I have to pee.
Simon asked me this morning if Jack came into our room in the middle of the night because he thought he had seen him and I wondered the same thing but had pretended to be asleep rather than let him climb in bed with us but after consulting with Jack, it was determined that he DID NOT come upstairs in the night and we both imagined it. Very strange.
Liam’s most excited to see his teacher again after break. That is sweet.
Jack got in trouble at daycare last week for biting another child. That is not sweet.
Jack’s nightly prayers are almost always a variation of the following, “Thank you, God, for the special day. And thank you for taking care of baby Jesus. And for mommy, daddy, Liam and George.”
Liam allowed me to give him a kiss this morning when I dropped him off for school. I think he might even have missed me today.
Last week, both boys were being exceptionally nice to one another and they gave each other a hug and then a kiss on the lips. Immediately after that, in unison, they wiped their mouths with the back of their hands. Yup, they are boys.
Ethan was baptized yesterday and I almost started crying while I was holding him in front of the church… the thing I like less than being the center of attention? Crying in front of people. Thankfully I held it together and did not lose it. [The same cannot be said for our wedding where I bawled from start to finish.] Thing I love most: putting a baby to sleep, which I also did during the church service.
A kitten ran in front of my office window last week. That was unexpected.
The plant in the corner of my office is a little out of control and is slowly creeping across the room toward my desk… I have nothing more to say about that and almost regret wasting your time with that tidbit. Almost.
Simon excitedly pointed out yesterday that I was singing along to a Nickelback song on the radio, after I had told him the previous day that I could not stand to even listen to one of their songs. I was a wee bit disgusted with myself and promptly changed the station. Sigh. I hate it when that happens.
In another three months we’ll be in Texas, well, we’ll actually be headed back from Texas. Mexican food… warm weather… and family we haven’t seen for ages – cannot wait!

2013 Resolutions

Posted on January 3, 2013 | 2 comments

Prior to blogging, I was never really one for making annual resolutions (aside from the time I resolved to only flip Simon the bird one time a day – I made that resolution, BTW, and I know I’m just the best wife ever). But I have attempted to set them for the past two years, knowing that by publicly posting them, I’m more likely to keep them, or at least try. I don’t think resolutions are necessary for a happy life, or that you have to set them at the first of the year, but it’s been working for me – I’d encourage you to do whatever works for you.

I think realistic goals are a good thing and I believe that if you don’t meet your goals, you don’t beat yourself up about them. There is no score chart, no scale by which we are measured for these things so it is pointless to feel guilty, but it is not pointless to try. It’s in the trying that we improve, that we learn more about who we are and often, it’s how we make new friends, friends who join us for part of the journey and cheer us on when it gets tough. Last year, for me, was a tough one but my friends made the difference and helped me stay upright and moving forward (even if in inches). I’m happy to bid it adieu, but 2012 really was a gift, in that it taught me that I can’t do it all (whether I think I can or others think I am) and asking for help and doing life with other people is the way to be happy. And I’m so glad to have lessons to be learned, to continue to work on being a better person.

Life is meant to be dynamic, not stagnant.

That said, here are my resolutions for 2013 and here’s hoping they are kept but I reserve the right to not complete them and to not feel bad about that. Sometimes (often), despite our best intentions, life has a way of leading us in a completely different direction than where we think we are headed.

Read more books (a minimum of one a month)
Pray EVERY night with the boys [so far, every night Liam has asked to pray for Joseph, you know, Jesus’ adoptive father]
Eat more meals with all four of us around our kitchen table [this happens rarely as there are only two days a week when we are all home at the same time and not sleeping]
Be a better friend to my family
Prepare house for selling/renting (and preferably, do one of those things)
Work on non-blog writing
Host a dinner party
Lose 50 pounds
Move 500 miles (walking, bike, elliptical) [If you want to join this effort, sign up for this group on Facebook.]
Go on a family vacation
Spend more days at the beach
Procrastinate and worry less; laugh more
List my gratitude on a weekly basis

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Posted in Gratitude, Healthy Living, Life in general, Resolutions

2012: Year In Review

Posted on January 2, 2013 | 2 comments

One of my favorite bloggers (Linda from All & Sundry), from the very beginning of when I started reading blogs has a long-standing tradition of answering the following questions as a way of reviewing the previous year (though this year she took a break) and this year I thought I’d do the same (answer the questions, that is, not take a break). I love the questions and the answers they provoke.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
– Traveled with two children halfway around the world
– Single-parented my kids for three weeks while Simon was in Australia
– Got an hour-long massage (it was notable because it was on my list of things to do before I turn 35)
– Raw food detox for 5 days

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 
Please refer to the list, I will soon do a full recap of resolutions – just as soon as I figure out new ones for 2013. I kept most of the ones that really mattered. Though I can’t say I made a conscious effort to do one random act of kindness a week, but I think in general I’m a thoughtful person so we’re going to call that a win. But I definitely didn’t sell $500 worth of stuff on Craigslist and while realistically, I use a calm voice more often than a yell-y one with my kids, I still yelled way more than I would have liked. But the rest were golden, even cutting the hubs some slack – right, honey? [Edited to say, I looked at my 2011 resolutions when answering this – total fail. Whoops. But I did great at keeping 2011’s resolutions, not so much with keeping 2012’s. Ha.]

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My niece had her second baby, Ethan, and he’s just the best to cuddle at family gatherings (plus, he’s my godson!). And the babies keep coming with my friends… many close friends had new babies added to their family this year and that is great since it helps me get my newborn baby fill without actually having to deal with middle-of-the-night feedings.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My sweet mother-in-law, Dorothy, passed away after a long battle with illness. That was more than enough for this year.

5. What countries did you visit?
Australia.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
More patience (which is NOT me asking God for my chances to practice patience, I have plenty on a daily basis with my boys, thankyouverymuch). More laughter with family and friends. A husband who works first shift, specifically an Australian husband named Simon who works first shift (not just any husband will do) – February will mark three years that we’ve been doing this split-parenting thing and I am just so weary of it. And a new (to us) house. The start of the story I have had in my head for over a decade down on paper (or computer, as the case may be).

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
– July 4th (our July 3rd): the day Simon’s mom died
– July 24th: the day Simon came home from Australia

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? 
Not to belabor the point, but I think making the best of having Simon in Australia for three weeks was a huge achievement. I have no regrets about his going, despite the cost and stress of dealing with everything else, and I am happy to say that the time went quickly and the boys had fun thanks to a jam-packed schedule of spending time with friends and family. It’s hard though because those same three weeks would not at all be considered an achievement by my husband, necessary but not an achievement.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I feel like all failures are parenting related, where I feel I didn’t live up to the kind of parent I should be for my boys. But I also think that is the bulk of parenting because it is such a huge thing in life, we are constantly somewhere on the continuum of trying to improve and do things differently (if not better).

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I finally sought out help for the neck pain I’ve been experiencing for ages as it was at the point where it was impacting my daily life. After a month of PT and the acquisition of my own personal traction machine, I’m happy to say that I no longer have daily pain and headaches, though I still can’t sleep on my back without waking up with a headache. Hello, my name is Michelle and I hurt myself sleeping.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A plane ticket for Simon to go to Australia. Any tickets for live music.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Outside of mortgage, car payments, food and childcare? Plane tickets and caffeinated beverages.

13. What did you get really excited about?
Seeing fun. in concert. Simon coming home from Oz. Girl’s Weekend Away with my college friends. New babies arriving in the world. Liam starting first grade. Jack being potty trained.

14. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Home by Phillip Phillips (did you see my best of 2012 post?)

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? happier
– thinner or fatter? fatter – but that will change soon [more on that coming up]
– richer or poorer? same

16. What do you wish you’d done more of? 
Working out. Reading books. Writing. Praying. Concert-going.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Driving around town (picking up kids, dropping off kids, getting errands done).

18. How did you spend Christmas?
Same as every year of my life (but one) – at my parents’ house for Christmas Eve and at my brother’s house for Christmas Day and out for breakfast with the whole fam the day after Christmas. When these traditions change, I think I’m going to have a hard time reconciling it.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
Favorites: The Vampire Diaries, Parenthood, Modern Family, Castle, Fringe, The Voice, Homeland.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
– Crazy Love – Francis Chan (still reading it for small group)
– Imperfect: An Improbable Life – Jim Abbott
– You Take It From Here – Pamela Ribon

21. What was your favorite music from this year?
– The Civil Wars were my favorite band and the rest are listed here.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
Is it totally cheating to list almost all the movies I saw in the theater? When you’re paying a sitter, you gotta make your movie choices count…
– Argo [my favorite of the year]
– Rise of the Guardians
– The Avengers
– The Dark Knight Rises
– The Hunger Games
– This Is 40
– Crazy, Stupid, Love [technically this did not come out in 2012, but I watched it on the plane to/from Oz]

Least favorites: Melancholia, which I technically watched on the plane on the way to Australia but it SUCKED. Do not ever watch it.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Church in the morning and then spent the rest of the day hanging out with the boys until we went out for dinner to one of my favorite restaurants (Rose’s) with some of my favorite people. I turned 34. Simon’s mom died two days later so it was a calm, happy moment in the midst of a very sad time for our family.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Buying a new house. [Oh, and spontaneously achieved independent wealth.]

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Comfort and function over everything else. And cardigans and scarves were my ever-present staples.

26. What kept you sane?
Friends.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
Things are seldom as perfect as they appear to be from the outside looking in. Comparison will steal your joy each and every time. God is faithful to those who ask for help and put their faith in Him and He can (and does) work miracles big and small.