Search term funnies

Previous posts in this string can be found here.

My apologies to the people who found my site by searching for the following: “big toes,” “mountain villa” and “before having surgery what I need to bring to hospital”… I’m quite sure you did not find what you were looking for. [Side note: Anytime I write or say a phrase that includes “what you were looking for” I cannot help but think of the U2 song, “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” And now it is in your head, too – you are welcome.]

Other search terms that brought people here:

• chop “my hair” and donate “my hair” | Those quote marks were necessary because why? The quote marks indicate you wanted to make sure the phrase “my hair” turned up together in the search results; does this mean without the quotes you were finding sites related to chopping your nose hair or donating your back hair?
• songs for special moments | For some reason, this makes me giggle every time I see it. I wonder what special moments they were hoping to set to music… I hope they chose wisely because there is much potential for disaster if you were hoping to set the mood for a first kiss but picked “Butterfly Kisses” which would be better suited for a father-daughter dance (or, really, for never playing, ever) and probably killed the mood of that special moment. “Want to make out? Here, let’s listen to a song that will remind you of your dad.” Go for “Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran – that’s a winner. Unless you are hoping for a father-daughter dance song and then it is not appropriate.
• bungee attach kids to parents | This just seems like a bad idea, but amusing for others to witness. But I am the second listing on Google when you search for this exact phrase so I can understand why you might have clicked on my blog. I do love using bungee cords to making my parenting go more smoothly.
• camping is our family tradition | Considering we have only been once (or twice according to Liam, since he counts the time we slept in a tent in Stef’s backyard), I think it safe to say camping is NOT our family tradition – should have used quotes with that phrase.
• wait is very hard | Indeed. Also hard, proper grammar.
• how can I longer a toe | Not sure why you would want to “longer” a toe? But then, you don’t seem that smart. I have no need for longer-ing my toes, they are plenty long all on their own.
• braquidactilia severa | I had to Google this term myself as I had no idea what it was, but it appears it’s Spanish for severe brachydactyly (shortening of the fingers) which is related to symbrachydachtyly; love that the Internet connected that with my site (not amusing, just true).
• suck up those tears | With a vacuum?
• my second name is definitely not patience | Mine either (or would it be neither?). In fact, I doubt there are many people (if any) with a second name of Patience. But then, celebrities name their babies things like North (West) and Pilot Inspektor so really, nothing is impossible. Also, the phrase you are looking for is probably “patience is not my middle name.” Also, did you hear that the new prince of England is named after my miniature poodle, George?