Category Archives: Parenting

Wednesday Randoms

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For two weeks in a row you get some Wednesday randoms… lucky you!

  • Liam is reading up a storm which makes me so very proud (in 4th grade I filled a small handful of large index cards with the titles of books I read – our teacher tracked them for RIF – Reading Is Fun(damental) – I was a bit of a book nerd, still am). He’s also started the Magic Treehouse Series and I’m excited to read those with him. I wish he loved math as much as he loves reading (and also making things out of Legos).
  • Speaking of Legos, I made an alligator out of Legos yesterday which impressed the pants off of Liam – he kept saying, I really like that alligator you made, mom, you did a great job! Liam’s love language seems to be words of affirmation.
  • My hair is officially LONG, but I still want to grow it out a few more inches before lopping it off for Locks of Love – sorry, Simon, you’ll just have to wait about 6 more months (my husband is one of the few who prefers shorter hair)
  • I know I just posted a search term thing last week, but the following just came through and cracked me up: “how to care for a duckling” you are barking up the wrong tree with this blog, sorry.
  • The Civil Wars Radio station on Pandora is the awesome. Listen to it. You will be happy.
  • I believe that desserts should be all-in, if you are going to indulge, then make it worth it. To wit, I made the following: put a layer of ice cream sandwiches in a cake pan, top with half of a large container of cool whip, pour jar of caramel over top and chopped up oreos (I used a row of Double Stuf); add another layer of ice cream sandwiches, cool whip, swirl butterscotch on top and sprinkle (liberally) with chopped PB cups. Freeze and serve. It was well-received.
  • We went out with part of our small group on Sunday night and I ordered two meatless things at a restaurant where I normally get a Cuban and I think that my friend, Stef, was almost disgusted with me. I said, “You feel like you don’t even know me right now.” It was good – meatless “meatloaf” was the entree with mashed potatoes that had a delicious smokey flavor. SO good. But I promise to order the Cuban next time – with sweet potato fries.
  • I believe that if you almost run into someone with your car, you should at least wave and mouth sorry to the person you’ve almost injured. You should not continue driving, staring straight forward and pretending like an accident did not almost occur. If you do that to me, I will want to then hit your car with my car – I won’t actually do that, but I will want to.
  • I get worked up over people who use double spaces after periods (not necessary unless you are using a typewriter), serial commas (they are evil) and random capitalization (all caps for emphasis is okay, capitalizing words that don’t need it just because well, not okay). I am a word nerd (while I’m laying all my nerdiness out there, I’m also a pop culture nerd but not quite a music nerd – more like a music admirer). Thank you for still loving me.
  • Jack has been waking up in the night for the last two nights saying he can’t sleep – last night he also mentioned his ear hurting but this morning it miraculously doesn’t hurt. Hmmm… I think it’s a growth spurt, which would also explain his crazy behavior of late… he’s been in and out of timeout more times than I care to recount, picking on Liam and instigating a six-year-old’s indignant wrath and also coloring all over every surface in our kitchen while I was going to the bathroom yesterday (seriously, I should be allowed to use the bathroom without a fear of what he will get into). And then last night, he woke up 8 times before midnight and each time needed to cuddle on the couch and snooze until suddenly he’d awake and want to go BACK. TO. BED. But he did do this:

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So all is forgiven because these cuddles I get like NEVER, ironic considering our sitter last night said that Jack is always the cuddly one. Um, what?

Wednesday Randoms

  • I mistakenly typed “ransoms” instead of “randoms” for the title of this post, it made me laugh. I’d like to imagine I’m holding things hostage – like all the Legos I find strewn through our house, or a last can of Diet Coke in the house.
  • Liam randomly said on our way to small group on Sunday, “I think instead of a spanking, you should give me a hard wedgie instead.” I don’t think anyone could blame me for laughing out loud at that one.
  • October is the month of Sandy’s due date – I cannot wait to meet that baby girl! (It should be noted it may not be the month of Sandy’s actual delivery – and for noting that, Sandy may kill me the next time she sees me and I would be deserving)
  • Liam has often fixated on doing one thing over and over again (you know, until the next thing comes along and to the point of annoying his dear mother). The current “annoying” habit of choice is snapping his fingers; he’ll be putting toys away or playing with a friend and stop mid-whatever to snap his fingers over and over again. I’m sure it’s some type of coping mechanism but I can’t help but tell him to stop it.
  • Jack has fully mastered the art of telling me he loves me just as I’m about to be fed up with his bad behavior.
  • He’s also mastered the art of wrapping every adult he meets around his little finger. Help me.
  • Fall television is making me happy. So nice to have a stocked DVR for my viewing pleasure.
  • Triple Chip Blondies are delicious – I have to mention these again – but trust that if you have invited me somewhere or I am bringing you food – I will be making these. Also trust that you may not want to think about the quantities of butter and brown sugar in them.
  • My husband very kindly folded all our laundry this week, this makes him a better person than me.
  • I’m praising my husband on my blog, therefore I am also pretty awesome. I mean, right?
  • The boys were upstairs watching TV over the weekend when Liam came down to tell us Jack had gotten into some lotion (it’s never good when the six-year-old notices something is amiss despite the TV being on). While pretending to be a “minja” (a.k.a., ninja), he had managed to fling the contents of a bottle of sleep aromatherapy lotion all around our bedroom – hitting the dresser, the bed, the ceiling, the nightstand light, inside of one of my shoes, a pair of pants sitting on the laundry basket across the room and a pile of books. It could have been worse, it could have been chocolate or the stuffing of our couch. It’s all a matter of perspective – it’s sad when splattered handfuls of lotion doesn’t even rank.
  • Monday night I got to go to my first [non-family] concert of the year with my friend, Sarah. Ingrid Michaelson was phenomenal (and hilarious – she performed a spoof of Lady Gaga’s bad romance with lyrics about a goat, trust me, too funny)! I love the Calvin FAC and I love live music and I really love a night spent with a wonderful friend!
  • Ingrid (I can call her that because we’re totally friends now – yup) had an opening act that I also loved: Sugar and the Hi Lows. Check them out if you want some mellow, catchy music… rest assured I’ll be featuring them soon on Music Monday.
  • Remember when I said that the school year wouldn’t be so different from our normal summer routine because I still work and the kids were used to daycare? Or maybe I just thought it. Either way, I was wrong, wrong, wrong. School, even with one kid, is very different and very time-consuming and very much screwing up my schedule and making me feel overwhelmed with busy-ness. That is all. And also, I should never have thought that.
  • I cannot say enough how much I enjoy our small group at church. Get theeself a small group – it might end up being one of the best things you’ve ever done.
  • We had curriculum night at school last week and Liam’s teacher amazes me with her positive, energetic attitude – if I were a first grader I would adore her (as an adult, I like her just fine). She and her hubby were high school sweethearts which is the cutest – I believe that awesome people marry (and stay with) their high school sweethearts, it’s not for everyone. I myself had a series of high school obsessions crushes, I am not that kind of awesome.
  • Liam (and by extension, Jack, see above lotion incident) is OB-sessed with ninjas. He had to depict a story problem for homework, he drew ninjas; at PT on Monday morning he was telling the therapist about his favorite Lego Ninjagos; he drew a picture for his cousin Mitch, it was of a ninja and when he made a coaster/tile for me at daycare, he painted a ninja on it.
  • Jack seems to know when I am just full of it or not taking him seriously. Sunday morning I was trying to get him to leave the nursery and he was insistent that he had more pictures to collect that he had colored, although there was only one on the counter with his name on it. When we finally discovered a stack of about ten more on a shelf, he looked at me crossly and huffed, “You say me there was no more… but there were!” Like, I have got your number, woman and I will have none of it. Trouble.

Recommended Reading

Not sure if I’ll get around to Five Question Friday – but I have a handful of posts by other people that I think you should read or check out… and in the meantime, I’ll try to pull my thoughts together for a coherent post about life, what I’m learning and what I’ve been thinking about (perhaps multiple posts).

  • It All Vanishes by one of my most favorite bloggers (Linda from All & Sundry) who also happens to have two boys. It perfectly captures of the heartache of watching your kids grow up.
    She also linked to this fabulous video:
  • Listen With Your Heart by another favorite, Tricia Lott Williford, whose book I cannot wait to read. Also, her best man’s toast from her brother’s wedding was pretty awesome.
  • Portrait of a Man Child by Angella – makes me wonder how I can best parent each of my boys.
  • If you are inclined to pray or lend financial support to worthy causes, please check out my friend Jonna’s blog and support letter.
  • Love this Baby’s Out, Now What post from L & D nurse, Mama M.
  • We Think We Move Through the World Unseen by the lovely Andrea Scher
  • Parenting Olympics by Laura Case (only slightly tardy since the Olympics were eons ago).
  • Ten Years Later by Lisa Leonard, on what she would tell her younger self when her son with special needs was born – we all learn in our own time that the perfection the world tells us a child ought to have is completely relative. Each child is perfect just as it is.
  • Gamechanger by Leah when thinking about whether or not having a child changes you.

Happy reading (and watching that video).

Graduation Day!

I completely forgot to add this to my weekend list of randoms, but it is so much more worthy of its own post. We had a post-op visit with our orthopedic surgeon last week and were thrilled to find out that Jack never has to go back and see him again, his first graduation of sorts! Since Jack’s surgery in November of 2010, we’ve gone back to our doctor for regular checkups (a doctor I was amused to learn, is very interested in hand injuries from the Civil and World Wars and has written books and articles on the subject), not knowing if this would be our last or not. Each time we’ve gone, we did x-rays and the doctor checked out his hand and said everything looked great, no surprises. This time was no different and we were pleased to learn it would be our last and unless Jack ever needed a special orthotic for his hand (say if he were interested in playing baseball or golf on a very competitive level) or injured his hand in some way and needed it checked out by a specialist.

I briefly mentioned Jack’s surgery in my post about Liam’s belly button surgery, but I thought it might be helpful to someone else if I recounted in more detail the operation we opted to have for Jack because of his symbrachydachtyly on his left hand.

Shortly after Jack was born, we were referred to a hand specialist for a consultation to learn more about Jack’s hand and what options we might have in the future. Prior to this meeting we’d already figured out that it was called symbrachydachtyly and that it is found in 1 in 30,000 births and starts around 5-6 weeks gestation, for an unknown reason – it is inexplicable and there was nothing we did to cause it and nothing we could have done to prevent it.

Our doctor was impressed that we knew what it was called (we are Google professionals) and we were impressed that he said all the right things regarding it not being the fault of anything we (I, as his mom) did and that we would find there was truly nothing he wouldn’t be able to do. We quickly determined that we weren’t there for consolation but rather to learn what we could do to improve things with his hand since growing a complete one wasn’t an option.

Jack’s thumb had the end bone (at the tip, under his nail) but no middle bone to attach it to his hand. He also has the first bone in his pinky, but no actual finger around it. Having these two things gives him an opposable grip. His other fingers were actually what the doctor referred to as nubbins, little “bubbles” of skin without bone that were attached to the end of his hand without much base (like a skin tag), though they did have tiny little finger nails on them.

There were a couple options, one of which was a complete toe-to-hand transplant, which is better-suited for people who didn’t have any digits on their hand and another which was called deepening where they cut into the bone on his hand and create a deeper “v” between the thumb and pinky to give him better grip. They could also lengthen one or two of the bones in his hand using a long process and contraption that would slowly stretch/grow the bones out – very painful and again, more beneficial for someone without an existing grip or digits. The final option he described appealed to us most and was the one I think we knew we would go with from the beginning, included a less invasive bone transplant (not a whole digit transplant). Because of the missing bone in his thumb, Jack’s thumb did not have stability to give him a tight grip. He could pick things up with his hand, but if you applied any pressure, he would drop whatever he was holding. Our doctor explained that we could take a bone from one of his toes and insert it into the place of he missing bone and stabilize his thumb, this would give him the best chance at having a tighter grip – bingo! He did note that it would not increase mobility, in other words, it wouldn’t bend like a regular finger at the upper knuckle. Once we decided on the surgical route, we just had to wait until Jack was at the right age to do the surgery (post-crawling and frequent falling down) but prior to school when the surgery would be more disruptive.

At 21 months old, he was ready for surgery. During the surgery we also opted to have his nubbins removed as they were (for lack of a better word) useless. They did get in the way of his grip (since they scrunched up between his thumb and his pinky when he closed his hand) and to be very honest, the doctor said that aesthetically, people noticed the nubbins more than the smaller hand and were often more accepting of a scar with no fingers than a hand with nubbins. Take away from that what you will, we don’t regret having them removed because ultimately, they could have caused more problems by leaving them (ingrown finger nails, getting snagged on things, etc…)

The day of surgery came and we got checked into the hospital with a slightly cranky nearly-two-year-old who hadn’t been able to eat that morning (this was in the days where he at all of the things, prior to his current picky food eating ways). He really had no idea what was in store for him and you can’t explain something like that to someone his age so we just prayed that all went smoothly and that he would not be scared at any point.

We went to pediatric pre-op where my friend Stef’s husband (an orthopedic surgical resident at the hospital) found us and said hi – we had hoped he could sit in on the surgery, but it didn’t work out. They gave us some sleepy meds for Jack to take – not surprisingly he did not fall asleep (unlike the other child who was also there waiting) so the anesthesiologist came and got him and ended up carrying him back to surgery while he waved groggily at us, leaving us there in the waiting room (I will tell you that was almost the hardest moment in this whole process, but God did protect our hearts and give us peace that we were doing the right thing).

Once the surgery was done, we got to go to recovery and see Jack, who had woken up and was very out of sorts but he calmed right down in my arms and cuddled for the longest he has ever cuddled in his life (apparently he just needs pain meds and surgery to want to be held for more than 10 minutes; also, a tooth being knocked out does the trick as well – I will happily avoid both as long as I can, despite my love of cuddles).

After a couple hours of recovery, we were sent home and Jack was eating and back to his normal, happy self that afternoon. Albeit, his self with a large, tube cast from mid-upper arm, past his finger tips (hand casts usually wrap around a thumb to stay in place so Jack’s had to go a ways past his elbow to ensure that it would stay on). He also got a handy “sock” to cover the end of his cast so he didn’t pull out the stuffing around his hand.

We “enjoyed” the cast for six weeks, letting Jack live in the two borrowed-from-his-brother sweatshirts that would fit over his cast and didn’t look huge on his little body. A plastic cast cover and packing tape were enlisted for his very infrequent baths (I laugh when I think of how we must have looked during that time frame, one particular Meijer trip he looked quite fetching with his cast, dirty shirt that he’d spilled orange pop on just before we left, a face smeared with chocolate from the free cookie from the bakery and some serious bed head from a lack of baths. Alas, this is why I don’t judge people at the store.) But otherwise, it was business as usual, not at all bothered by the large plastic mass on his left arm. His toe, where they harvested the bone, was a little more bothersome but only until the stitches dissolved (I will spare you a picture of that because it wasn’t too pretty as you’d imagine when they remove a bone from the middle of a toe).

After six weeks, Jack got upgraded to a custom, velcro-on brace which was much smaller and stream-lined. I should note, the cast removal was by far my least favorite part of this whole thing, followed closely by getting the brace itself made. This was mostly because Jack was terrified of the saw used to remove the cast, his thumb hurt (as could be expected) and by the time the therapist had to look at his hand for the brace (and then have me immobilize his arm while they got it fitted) he was done with it ALL. It was the most fun. Or not.

Since his 3-month post-op check we have returned to the doctor every six months just to make sure everything was moving along as planned. The growth plate from the bone that was moved to his thumb remains open which means it will continue to grow at the same rate as his hand and be proportionate with the rest of his body. His toe has a tendency to bruise when he runs around with bare feet, but this is normal as there is not a bone to stabilize the end of his toe to his foot. And that toe will always be shorter than the rest, but will grow with his feet (meaning it won’t stay two-year-old sized forever). At our final visit, our doctor had Jack squeeze his finger with his little hand and was very impressed with the strength of his grip, saying it was better than he would have hoped going into surgery as you just don’t know the final outcome when you are doing that type of surgery. I felt a whole lot of mama pride at that moment, so proud of my kid for having that surprisingly strong grip, but also knowing God gets all the glory for how things turn out.

Other than a faint scar on the top of his thumb, you’d never know Jack has had surgery on his hand. And really, you’d almost never notice his little hand. As if I needed more proof of this, the night before his doctor’s visit, Jack used BOTH hands to do a full pull up on one of the arms of our elliptical – I see some monkey bars in his future. Do you have any doubt? Because I absolutely do not.

The doctor mentioned that the only hardships we could expect to face with this would [likely] come as he starts school and kids are aware of his hand and ask questions and then in his teen years when all teens are struggling to just fit in and not be different or really stand out. I think that Jack’s perfectly suited to handle both this situations with a personality that you can’t help but love and a confidence you can’t help but admire.

That’s our story, or at least one chapter, because I have a feeling the story is going to get better and better. Just you wait.

Let’s Be Honest

It’s not really ideal to have your spouse out of the country for 20 days but at least it’s not 2 or 20 months… some spouses have it much harder with those they love in the military (or in heaven).

Not at all to belittle Simon, but having him gone isn’t too much different than my normal days. Monday through Friday, I work and come home and then he’s at work – the person not working has the kids (except the two days they are in daycare). After work I single-parent it through to bedtime. Right now, the rough times are mornings and weekends. I am NOT a morning person so Simon usually buffers my early risers since he is most definitely a morning person. And the weekends – those large stretches of time when it is just me solely responsible for two wild and crazy guys. It’s a bit exhausting. But overall, it’s a manageable time (not to say I won’t be cashing in on a couple 100% guilt-free weekends away come this fall).

And while it is manageable, my brain cannot handle really anything more than work and the kids at the moment, which means there is a chance I will almost run out of gas (the warning light had been on a good 20 miles before I noticed it and the display said 8 miles to empty when I pulled in to the gas station – whoops). This is not like me since it’s not like Simon fills up the gas tanks normally (not like my parents – my mom hasn’t filled up a car in decades, the cars are my dad’s domain) but this is indicative of where my head is at. Also indicative is how I was all prepared to drop Liam off at his daycare sleepover, only to get there and see everything closed up and note on the calendar – that I could see from the locked door – that the sleepover was the next week.

But I see the light at the end of the tunnel now that we are week away from Simon coming home (happy day) and I’m feeling a bit more breathing room. So I can take a few minutes to share the following (which are hopefully taken in the same manner in which they are meant – not complain-y, but completely sarcastically observational – my own personal M.O.)…

I 100% do NOT appreciate the following things that have happened in the last two weeks to make life a bit more interesting (i.e., I’m about to complain a wee bit, skip down to the next section for the silver lining part of this post):

  • Liam puking in the van on the road into the airport when we were dropping Simon off; then again at home two hours later – I was afraid this might be a warning shot for the next 20 days.
  • George puking on Jack’s bed (and my not finding it until the next morning); on my bed at some point while I was sleeping and on the couch and floor another night (also see: in my hands – twice – I’m still washing them).
  • Jack coming out to the living room yesterday morning and when I looked at his face I was horrified to notice that it (along with his arms) was covered in dried blood. His sheets shared a similar fate (this has happened before because he likes to shove his little thumb up his nose) so back to the laundry again.
  • Food poisoning or stomach flu which caused me to hang out in bed or in the bathroom for 12 hours while my saintly friend, Sarah, watch my boys and brought them home for bedtime.
  • Liam waking up at 2 a.m. one night and requiring me to make three trips to check on him before he would just come upstairs and go back to bed with me.
  • Ants taking over our kitchen – they are getting in somewhere and driving me batty – also driving me batty is how Jack screams every time he sees one – as if it was going to gnaw his leg off.
  • Anytime we get on video Skype with Simon, the boys go a little bit crazy and cannot control themselves so I spend the conversation wrangling them with a stern voice and the Volcan death grip.
  • A 14-time difference with Australia which means that phone calls take thought to work out when they would be good to make (but at least I can text him an unlimited number of times). Simon often calls in the morning first thing and I am usually awake but when I am not (and I should be), I answer the phone with a very bright and cheery voice to give the appearance that I am AWAKE, not sleeping, nope. One morning the phone woke me out of a DEEP slumber and I put on my peppy voice and answered with a “Hi, honey!” And then I looked at the clock and noted it was 3:25 AM and, after asking if anything was wrong, promptly switched to angry wife voice and inquired as to why he was calling me at 3:25 IN THE MORNING!? We spoke again 3 hours later, I was much nicer. [He fell asleep and woke up when it was dark so he thought it was late enough there to be a good time to call – but it was just stormy.]
  • We have been having near 100-degree days with heat and humidity (which Simon loves) nearly the whole time he has been gone while he is in Australia where it is cold and he has to wear jeans and sweatshirts (which I love). [On the plus side, ridiculous heat with no rain means the lawn doesn’t grow so I don’t have to figure out how I’m going to get it mowed while Simon is gone. *BONUS*]

The things I do appreciate:

  • The fact that Simon got a chance to go (despite everything else, I can honestly say, without bitterness or contempt, that I am glad he is there)
  • That he will bring me back some Cadbury chocolate
  • That he and his siblings are getting family time as adults
  • While not related to Simon being gone, I SUPER appreciate Jack being potty trained
  • That my parents are hosting me and the boys for the weekend coming up – a 3-to-2 adult-to-child ratio is so much better than 1-to-2!
  • My awesome support system – really – there are not words for how much I love and appreciate the people in our lives that love us by watching our kids, hanging out with me, going to the beach with us, sitting with me in church, praying for us, sending us cards and flowers, texting daily to check in on me, leaving messages on FB, emailing sweet words and prayers, bringing food and coffee, providing playdates (and it should be said, beer) and company. It takes a village and it (honestly) makes me proud of myself for asking for help instead of being too proud to admit when I’m anticipating a struggle – because you don’t get a prize for doing it alone. Friendship is a gift; being able to help others and being the recipient of that help is an even greater gift. So thanks for giving freely and generously.