ememby

We remember.

Posted on September 11, 2012 | Leave a comment

Eleven years, though a year longer than ten, it doesn’t seem like as big of a deal because people remember things with whole numbers, or by fives. But it is still a big deal. It’s still the biggest deal. Anytime people die there’s an impact – but there were so many at once; so many who were simply going about their day. So we remember and never forget what happened on that day.

In lieu of a full out rehash of my memories once again, instead I’m re-posting what I wrote last year. My story hasn’t changed, my memories and feelings are still the same. I can’t look at the clear sky on this day and not be instantly brought back to that morning. We are forever changed. And we remember.

All weekend I’ve been reading people’s blog and Facebook posts about their memories of 9/11 and of course have been thinking about my own.

Like the majority of the Tuesdays for the last 10 years, I was at work on September 11, 2001. I used to come in to the office very early because I liked being the first person there – the quiet of the office gave me time to make coffee and check my personal email (these were the pre-laptop and smartphone days for me). So I’d guess I’d been at my desk close to 2 hours when my coworker got a call from a friend of hers who sounded sort of shaken up. I put the call through to her and after a few minutes made my way around to her office to see what was up (we were all nosy like that). Sherrie was already online, checking out cnn.com – which would become our tenuous connection to what was happening in our country for the next few hours, that and the radio since we didn’t have a television in the office.

We did not see the planes hit either building and for that I am so glad, because it’s shocking enough to watch it ten years later, knowing what’s going to happen. Instead we each sat at our desks, frantically refreshing our web pages, hoping for new information and reports that would tell us it was all over. I remember wondering when it was going to end and what this would mean for our country.

Another coworker came in to the office and hadn’t heard anything so I quickly told her what was happening and urged her to call her daughter who lived in NYC with her family.

We gathered in one office, sitting on the floor and listening to the radio, hearing Dan Rather’s voice crack as he reported the first tower’s collapse. I remember feeling disbelief that this was actually happening, thinking it couldn’t be real. Terrorism was brought to our doorstep in the worst, most unimaginable way. We would each steel ourselves away to call family and friends, checking our computers for more updates. I was on instant messenger with my SIL in Texas when the second tower went down. Again we wondered when it was going to end.

After that I don’t remember much. I’m pretty sure we went home early, unable to concentrate on work or think of anything else. At home we watched the news, seeing and hearing all the reports in real time, not having to wait for a website to update or for a server to allow us access to the information.

The next few days were just a blur. We were all in shock and we were so far removed from the epicenter of what happened, I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be closer to what happened. My coworker’s daughter was safe, no one I knew directly was in NYC or on a plane that day. Yet, I moved through life feeling dazed, unable to compute what happen, to believe that there were people in the world so filled with hate and so driven to bring ruin that they would do these things. People die every day, natural disasters happen and kill larger numbers of people, but this was different. This was calculated and motivated by hate and so, so senseless. Pure evil.

I remember the silence of the skies overhead. Our office was fairly close to the airport and we were accustomed to hearing planes coming in for landing or taking off and for days it was quiet, aside from the fighter jets going to and from a nearby Air Force base (hearing those jets still makes me shudder). A friend got married the following weekend and it was a welcome couple days of happiness and celebration – we were all grateful to forget about the rest of the world and get wrapped up in something so joyful.

The following month friends and I planned a girl’s weekend in Chicago – a tradition of ours – and we happened to get a hotel in the shadow of the (then) Sears Tower during the Chicago Marathon weekend. We had a great time but I’d guess we were all a little freaked out when we heard a plane above us, praying the city would not be a target and that another attack wouldn’t occur.

It’s true, life goes on. We were all affected by what happened on 9/11, whether directly or indirectly, whenever we are faced with our own mortality and weakness, we can’t help but feel something – outrage, fear, worry, sadness, disbelief. A year later, I arrived at work at the same time as my coworker whose daughter lived in NYC; it was another beautiful day with clear blue skies. We got out of cars and met in the parking lot as a plane was flying overhead, having just taken off from the nearby airport and we hugged each other fiercely, both of us sobbing because despite the passage of time, those feels were still so fresh and familiar, forever connected to that day. But things continue to happen – people get married, babies are born and trips are planned – we keep living our lives with the new knowledge that things can change quickly. We survive and come back stronger, knowing what we can withstand. Because we have to have hope and faith that good will win over evil in the end; and that evil doesn’t get the last word.

The Friday after 9/11, there was a television special called America: A Tribute to Heroes that brought together celebrities and musicians in a way I hadn’t seen before – of course since then, it’s happened other times for New Orleans and Haiti. I listened to the CDs from those performances with great regularity since then because the emotion was so raw and the love so evident. Those songs helped heal the wounds I felt from 9/11, because good can be born in adversity and love does win, no matter how strong the hate. Life is hard. God is good. Heaven is certain.

There Will Come a Day | Faith Hill

Peace on Earth/Walk On | U2

Imagine | Neil Young

My City of Ruin | Bruce Springsteen

Long Road | Eddie Vedder and Neil Young

Instagram | 22

Posted on September 10, 2012 | 6 comments

Happy Monday to you – though I might hold out until later today to let you know how it actually goes. I started a 3- (possibly 5-) day raw food/juice detox this morning. At the moment I’m feeling rather virtuous and a might bit hungry, but not angry and mad at the world, so things are going all right. I’ll keep you posted! For now, let’s focus on my past week according to Instagram:

Pile-on daddy time – always a favorite past time.

Liam painted a tile/trivet as his last art project for the summer. I originally was looking at it upside down and Liam had to twist it around for me and tell me it was a painting of a ninja with purple swords. Of course.

We watched a different kid’s channel last weekend – this cartoon was strange, even by kid’s cartoon standards.

For the last day of summer vacation the boys asked to go to the new mall (Rivertown, which was built over a decade ago, but we still call it the new mall) and wanted to play at the treehouse and ride the carousel – of all the options, this made them happiest.

My first grader. 100% not into getting his photo taken and suddenly all grown up – I love his recent habit of walking around with his hands in his pockets.

I was able to get a few smiles out of him.

And for comparison – first days of school from kindergarten and first grade. What a difference a year makes.

Jack got to hang out with me at work for about an hour before picking Liam up from school… he was pretty good, though I made the mistake of having him watch a new-to-him movie which got him all anxious and had him yelling at the bad guy on the screen. Next time we’ll stick to Backyardigans, where he only sings along with the intro song.

Yet another beautiful sunset.

And a much less beautiful mantis. This one was in the backyard where I slept outside in a tent. Ewww.

My lazy boy, hanging out with mommy with his goldfish crackers.

Little 16-day-old Emerson – such a sweet baby! We got to cuddle him up on Saturday! And the big boys indulged in a little FIFA 12 soccer on the Wii while the little boys played with even littler kid toys – everyone was happy (except their dog, Vince, who Liam hit in the eye with a tennis ball – sorry, Vince, those Bennett boys cannot be trusted).

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Posted in Instagram

Gratitude, 41-60

Posted on September 8, 2012 | 2 comments

41. That Liam will still give me a kiss goodbye when I drop him off at school.

42. A teacher for Liam that he loved at first meeting.

43. Spoonlickers

44. A beautiful college campus to walk around with Jack before we get Liam from school.

45. Song lyrics that speak to me.

46. Friends who remember things.

47. Friends who are forgiving when I don’t remember everything.

48. My bargain-hunting husband.

49. Physical therapy.

50. Our borrowed stationary bike.

51. The ability to find out about almost anything on the Internet, using my phone.

52. $10 Starbucks giftcards for only $5.

53. Diet Coke, leaded or unleaded.

54. Pretzel Crisps.

55. Anything on a pretzel bun.

56. Jack wanting to cuddle more often.

57. Feeling George’s little body curled up next to me in bed.

58. Jack’s random singing of [perhaps] inappropriate song lyrics

59. Getting to help a friend’s daughter with her earrings [since I have boys, not likely something I’ll get to do in the future, which is not to say they won’t ever get their ears pierced, but not when they are young enough to need my help]

60. Cooler evenings.

Previously: 1-20, 21-40

What are you grateful for lately?

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Posted in Gratitude

Five Question Friday

Posted on September 7, 2012 | 8 comments

1. What is your favorite fall family tradition?
Does eating donuts count? Probably not since that’s a year-round tradition 🙂 I’d say going to Schwallier’s Country Basket, north of town. They have cider, apples, pumpkins, a corn maze, a wagon ride, goats to pet and feed, bunnies for cuddling, a corn box (a sandbox with corn) and a giant tube slide (and also, donuts). We love going there – though it’s a little crazy on the weekends, still super fun for everyone!

2. If money weren’t an issue, how many kids would you have?
I’d like to say three or four, because if money weren’t an issue, then I’d stay home full time, but our reality is such that both of us work and I can’t imagine a) the cost of daycare for two more kids or b) my husband wanting to take care of two more small children when he’s not at work and vice versa, my having them while he is at work – tag-team parenting as we do it, works for two or less children (at least for us).

3. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be and where would you put it?
I have a tattoo, it’s the Chinese symbol for happiness on the inside of my left ankle. I got it when I was 22 with my two [then] roomies – Jenny got one on her back and Kara on the outside of her ankle. Jenny and I went first and totally lied to Kara about how much it hurt, knowing that if she really knew, she wouldn’t go through with it because she was a bit of a wimp about pain. Sorry about that, Kara. 🙂

If I were to get another one, it would either be a quote… something short, sweet and meaningful or my kids’ names or initials with a heart all intertwined.

I’m trying to convince my hubby to get one, either a Southern Cross (constellation they see in the southern hemisphere which is also on the Australian flag) or the same Chinese symbol as mine, because the double happiness characters mean marriage.

4. What condiment is a must in your house?
Mustard and barbeque sauce share equal rank in our household with ketchup left in the dust.

5. How did your spouse/fiance propose?
My tricky husband had a big surprise set up for me but to get his plan to work, he had to get me out of the house on that particular Sunday morning, normally this wouldn’t have been a problem as I would be going to church, but I had been sick with tonsilitis that week and wasn’t really feeling up to going to church so he enlisted the help of my BFF Kara (the aforementioned pain wimp) and had her call and arrange for us to go out for coffee after church – ensuring that I would get out of the house for church so I could meet Kara and go for coffee. I knew something was probably up then but I was also feverish so I didn’t think too hard about it. When I got home my surprise was waiting for me (my garage is at the back of the house and on the same level as my basement so when you enter the house, the basement stairs are the first thing you see)… so before me, on those steps, was an array of candles and rose petals and at the top of the stairs was Simon, waiting with a big grin and beautiful ring. I walked upstairs, he proposed and I said yes! And then we ate lunch, which he had picked up from Panera – where we had our first date. And then we called a bunch of people and told them the wonderful news! Happy day (see below)!

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Posted in Five Question Friday, Life in general

Thursday Randoms

Posted on September 6, 2012 | 4 comments

Thank goodness for four-day weeks! Though it will make next week seem that much longer! Ugh!

Here’s a bunch of randomness for you…

This morning as Liam and I were getting ready to leave and Liam was giving Simon hugs and kisses, Jack walked up to them and asked for one. Thinking he meant to bestow them on Simon, I said, “No, you’re staying home with daddy, come give mommy hugs.” And Jack said, “No, I want hugs and kisses from Liam!” Too cute. Moments like those give me hope that they do love each other 😉
I watched Thor last night while I was riding the exercise bike – nothing like Chris Hemsworth’s super cut body to make you cycle faster. Am still annoyed with Natalie Portman in general – why do people like her?
I got the following three spam comments from “people” named Werner, Earl and Waldo:
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Do you think they all came from the same spam bot? Hmmm… I appreciate the small variations, but read all together it’s amusing to me. I do hope they follow through on their promise to “very likely” bookmark my blog, I love “regards for revealing” my website.
I’ve been getting PT for my neck because I haven’t been able to sleep on my back for over two years without waking up with a horrible headache and knots in my neck that last a few days and I’d like to be able to sleep on my back again. It’s me with a bunch of older folks at the clinic I go to so at least I appear very healthy, though one of them asked me why I was there and I said for my neck and he asked how I hurt it and I had to admit it was from sleeping. Since yesterday I have been sporting some “cool” athletic tape, similar to the stuff the Olympic athletes would be wearing, which makes me feel ~~superior~~ sporty until I recall my injury is sleep related. The PT is helping slightly but I still can’t sleep on my back, fingers crossed that will change.
Also, I am such a procrastinator that it took me over two years to finally look into a solution for my problem. Either that or I’m not a complainer, but that’s probably not it.
When Liam got in the car yesterday after school, I asked about his day and he said, “I’ll tell you about it later.” When I reminded him of that this morning, he said, “I’ll tell you something: we had recess.” Thank you, dear, for that riveting insight into your day. [Note: He did tell us other things without our asking, like he has a kid in his class who just moved here from Mexico so he doesn’t speak English and the Dylan in his class isn’t the same Dylan from his preschool two years ago, but that Dylan is in another teachers’ class. Also, he loves his teacher once again.]
Does anyone else have to really think through what daylight savings time means each time it happens… I have to take a moment and think, okay… fall back, that means that the kid’s normal bedtime will feel like it’s an hour later… oh, this means they’ll go to bed easier [bonus] but will also wake up earlier [opposite of bonus]. I do believe I prefer falling back to springing forward, my kids have been giving me trouble with bedtime since the time change in the spring, for real.
I’m hoping to convince my kids to be angry birds again this Halloween… keep your fingers crossed on that one as well.
Women’s Retreat is coming up next weekend… cannot wait… don’t care at all what Simon does with the boys while I am gone (especially since my mom will be here half the time and he was gone for three weeks), hopefully we can argue this still makes me a good mother since I am taking time for myself, this is a good thing.
I totally sliced off the skin on the side of my ankle shaving last Friday and it still hurts. “Injuries” like that make me so mad because it’s not like I haven’t been shaving my legs for somewhere around two DECADES and still I do stupid things. Dumb.
The only reason I want to fast forward through fall is to get through the election… I’ve been done with political coverage since, well, ever. I don’t believe a thing any politician says – I watched too much West Wing – and at least there is less talking once the election is over (for at least six months until it seems to start again – it’s like when stores come out with Christmas stuff in October, or September).
The following epitomizes my best relationships: