Category Archives: Random

Wednesday Randoms

ememby_Wednesday_Musings

  • Since I just did a search term post but saw this referring search term, I have to share it here rather than wait to share it in six months when I do another post: “there are two things i would rather do in my life” [I am dying to know who the person is that can’t think of TWO things they would rather do in their life and instead had to Google the phrase with the hopes of stealing someone else’s idea. Also, rather do that WHAT? Breathe… shoplift… have children… eat watermelon]
  • Thank you to the person who commiserated with me this morning (when I dumped my newly-purchased coffee granita all over the counter) by telling me they did the same thing last week but unfortunately instead of dumping it on just the counter, their drink went all over a woman in a business suit. She was not pleased. Also, thank you to the kind barista who refilled my cup, clearly I needed the caffeine.
  • I returned a dress at Macy’s today and when the cashier commented on what I good deal I had gotten, I almost decided NOT to return it, even though I have no intention of ever wearing it or needing to wear it. This is the moment I will look back on and realize that I successfully avoided becoming a hoarder by making the choice to still return the dress.
  • I also got a free 10-day sample of Clinique’s face lotion, but as a requirement for getting it, the woman had me sign up for a consultation in two weeks to go back and tell her how the lotion worked. I have no intention of going back for this appointment. And I highly doubt the tiny tube she gave me will possibly last ten days… they must have used people with very tiny faces to determine the amount they should dole out.
  • I made sun pickles this past weekend – I could eat a whole jar in one sitting; they are practically a health food (aside from the sodium). They are also SUPER garlic-y… you’ve been warned if you see me.
  • I had to laugh when I went in our [shared] work bathroom today – no, I did not see someone from the gym changing their clothes – but in one of the stalls, there were three empty toilet paper rolls and a newly opened one sitting on the holder that was holding another empty roll. Along with the gym, we also share the building with a driving school and they are very busy in the summer so we have a multitude of teenagers coming through but in all the people it took to use four rolls of toilet paper, not one person thought to throw the empty rolls away or put a new roll ON the holder. Sigh. This is why other countries are ahead of us… their teens have common sense and the ability to do simple tasks for themselves.
  • I had to pick up a laptop from a client’s Help Desk this morning and when I introduced myself to the IT guy at the desk, he said, “So you’re the infamous Michelle Bennett from [my business]…” I simply replied, “Nice to meet you.” It would concern me more if I didn’t know there was a person in their department with the same name as me and people fairly regularly get us confused via email… I assume that’s what he was referring to and not some other reason for him to know my name, like, “Oh, you’re the person who can never remember what you need to do when you have to change your password and then need to re-log onto your laptop and it won’t take your new password.” That would just be petty on their part.
  • I feel like “Don’t hit or bite anyone” is a warning I shouldn’t have to say to my kids any more, and yet, that’s exactly what I told Jack today when I dropped him off at daycare. Last week he bit a kid and then immediately told the teachers that the kid bit himself… um, really?
  • When I answer the phone at work and there is a long pause before a recorded message starts, I always hang up. Does anyone listen to those messages and say, “Wow, that sounds like a great opportunity, I’m going to stay on the line and wait for a customer service representative to exploit my stupidity take all my information and get me to sign up for something I don’t need.”
  • I unpacked the rest of our bedroom boxes last night and in the process pulled a bunch of stuff out of a dresser drawer that I had put in there over a bunch of years and determined that I have too much jewelry (especially since I mostly wear my everyday jewelry at this point) but I can’t figure out what to get rid of (see: hoarder tendencies). So now it is all sitting on top my dresser and I am betting it is making Simon’s eye all twitchy when he looks at it.
  • Jack’s love for numbers continues to grow… almost every question he asks is related in some way to a number and he has started doing simple math, for example: “How many bags of Popchips are left?” “Six.” [we had 9 originally] “So we have eaten 3 of them?” I could like to claim responsibility for this new interest or intelligence, but like most parenting wins, this one came about by sheer luck and happenstance.
  • Liam turns seven next week… how does this happen? He’s also obsessed with potty talk and farting… sigh.
  • My brother and family from Texas are coming north next week – we cannot wait! My college-age nephew may be less excited when he learns the boys are hoping he will have a sleepover with them… they promise to go right to sleep.
  • We skipped out on the beach last weekend – it was only a high of 70 (as opposed to the 95-degree weather we’d had the week before).
  • I was walking out of the grocery store last week and a little girl was sitting in a cart next to my car while her mom unloaded groceries. As I approached her, she cheerfully shouted, “Hi!” and when I responded, she continued with, “My mommy is really angry.” Her poor mother looked up, shocked but I just smiled and said, “Oh, I understand, I’m a mommy, too!” We’re all in this together.
  • That’s all the news worth reporting.

 

Fer dumb

I hit myself in the eyebrow with the car door this morning. Wait, that sounds stupid. Let me try again. I opened the car door into my face this morning. Nope, still not a winner. I am a grown up who apparently can’t judge adequately when it comes to how much space she needs to NOT harm herself with a large piece of metal. [I did this before over a year ago on the opposite eyebrow and sported a bruise for two weeks and the point of impact still hurts if I press on it hard enough (so I do try to avoid pressing on it but I did it just now to test it the truthiness of my last statement).]

This recent incident happened two hours ago and it still hurts, has swelled a bit and grown a lovely red mark. I tried to take a picture to show you but a close up of my eyebrow revealed that I am way past due for some eyebrow waxing (it also revealed a wiry, gray hair). [On a related note, I met an aesthetician at the wedding this past weekend and someone asked her if she ever judged people who come in to get waxed and she said, “Everything is just another body part to me, that is no different than an elbow…” Which is both comforting and amusing when you think about it. And then we determined that a new code for a bikini wax, was getting your elbow checked out.]

We are supposed to be getting a cold front coming in sometime this weekend, which is sweet since it was already in the 80s when I drove to work. I HATE hot weather, it makes me grumpy and sweaty – two things I do not like to be.

My hope for you this weekend is that the weather will be how you want it to be (unless you live in GR and like it to be hot, then I hope you are disappointed) and that you won’t damage yourself with large metal objects you are in control of. Amen.

Friday Randoms

ememby_FridayRandomsI’m not sure who I’m kidding, most of my posts are random lists of stuff… I should just change the blog title itself: ememby | random stuff. I have missed blogging and for sure there is an endless amount of blogging material in relation to moving homes (even when moving just across town). Those posts will be coming at a later date, I pinky-swear promise.

  • We said a final goodbye to the old house Wednesday, Simon in the morning getting the last of our trash and the boys and I in the evening when picking up one final van-load and handing the keys over to the new home owners. They look so young! Babies. I pray our old home that is now their new home serves them well and provides a backdrop to so many happy memories.
  • Of my two kids, I would have imagined that Liam would be the sad one about leaving the old place, but it was Jack who actually cried while he woefully said, “Goodbye, house” in his sweet little voice. If I was going to cry, that would have been the time. Thankfully Liam was being a pill so I could instead focus on reprimanding him so I didn’t end up crying in front of the new people.
  • In true regular-life fashion, while we were outside waiting for the new owners to arrive, the boys hurt each other racing down the hill – both ending up with grass stains on their faces (a true talent) and I saw our strange neighbor sitting on the toilet (their bathroom window faces our house and they don’t shut the blinds and I always forget when I glance that direction that I should NEVER glance that direction – file that under “Things I Will Not Miss”).
  • By some miracle, though we only ordered one Happy Meal for dinner, they put two toys in the box so each kid got their own little minion to play with. Sadly, we had only ordered one Happy Meal because Jack had a bad day at daycare with multiple hitting incidents so he lost the privilege of getting a Happy Meal. McDonald’s is clearly out to usurp my parental control.
  • I successfully made the move without any Diet Coke – it’s been 7 months now and I’ve decided that I’m just going to go the whole year without it. I miss it sometimes – especially when I get the kid’s McDonald’s – but mostly not. I don’t think Diet Coke is evil or bad, but my desire to drink it always was probably not the best.
  • In another week or so we will be midway through summer – how does this happen? We haven’t even been to the beach yet. Next weekend we’ll have to get on that. This weekend we’re going to Lansing to meet my friend’s new baby (Silas Dorsey, which is just an awesome name) and attend my BFF from middle and high school’s wedding! Fun times in the capital city!
  • So far we’ve spotted deer, rabbits, ravens and frogs in our backyard and I gave the kids an educational talk on how to identify sassafras trees (three kinds of leaves: mitten, football and ghost). Among the things I learned during my years at camp, this is close to the most useful (most useful might be making a proper teepee fire). We have tons of sassafras trees at the *new* house, along with wild black raspberries. Welcome to the “country,” city kids!
  • I had amazing gnocchi two weeks ago at Amore. A-mazing! If you live in town, go there, and get it with the vodka cream sauce. Also, bring me a to-go container!
  • Jack remains fixated on people’s ages. He must ask at least 20 times a day how old certain people are that we know. I can’t recall if Liam shared this obsession at that age, but I have had to start putting a limit on how many more age questions I will answer on a given car ride. “That’s it, you can ask me three more age questions!” Then he switches over to asking math questions so I’ve started saying, “All right, you can ask me three more number questions.” I love that he’s trying to figure things out but, really… a mom can only answer so many of the same kind of question. Because I said so.
  • Yesterday I visited three stores I hadn’t been to in ages: I got sparkly sandals at DSW for the weekend wedding, boogie boards from Five Below for the boys to use at the beach and a lamp from World Market for the living room. And I picked up a wagon from my co-worker’s house. The back of our van was a menagerie of random items that all bring me great joy!
  • I feel like I could always use a nap. Why do my children never feel this way?

Wednesday Musings

ememby_Wednesday_Musings

  • We’re moving this weekend. In theory, I’m ready – or we’re ready, I should say, though my husband will gladly tell you I have done 98% the packing while he makes sure the rest of our house runs as it should in the meantime. I kind of like packing and do not trust him to not just put things randomly in a box and call it good. That kind of packing is only allowed the day before the move when you resort to just throwing all things left out into boxes and taping them shut. This is also when you abandon labeling boxes so you end up with 20 boxes that you have to search through for that Very Important thing that you had to wait until the last minute to pack (in our case it will be Vegamite, toothbrushes and/or power cords for the Kindle/iPad).
  • I made a Facebook event out of our move so maybe it won’t seem like we are asking too much of our friends because it’s: FUN and we will feed you and give you drinks of whatever variety you would like. Win-win, right? Unless you pull a muscle lifting a box, in which case, I can give you an Advil Liqui-Gel, a heating pad and my sincere apologies.
  • Swim lessons went fabulously last week – both boys learned to swim and swam the required distances across the pool after either jumping in or being tossed in by their beloved mother. This week’s lessons have not gone as fabulously… well, for 50% of my children. Jack happily does whatever Miss Julie asks of him and hasn’t once protested or cried this week; Liam is another story. He has suddenly developed a FEAR of the deep end and whenever he is taken there to swim because he will NOT stop touching in the shallow when he is not supposed to, he FREAKS out. It is not pretty. And it makes no sense because he is actually quite a good swimmer and can swim across the pool, no problem. It’s all in his head and it’s like a switch gets flipped and he WILL NOT be reasoned with. I am at a loss. Tonight is the last night, I’m hopeful he will remain calm as he did finish up well last night and without a total freak out for three laps across the pool.
  • I made these Nutella Mocha No-Bake Cookies as first recommended by my friend, Keri… they are awesome and you should make them. The End. Recipe at the end of the post.
  • We had a family reunion last weekend – it was quite a lot of fun to catch up with people I don’t see often and also makes me sad I didn’t grow up along with my cousins being that the closest in age cousin to me is still 9 years older. Ever the baby of the family. Alas. But at least I can hang out with them now that we are all adults and hopefully we will make the reunion an annual or bi-annual thing! I’m totally up for hosting next time – though we might elect Bill and Paula every time because they were pretty awesome hosts!

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  • Because we will be getting rid of our DVR next week, I have let the children record whatever shows they would like in the past couple weeks. So now we have 15 episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and at least a dozen of Kung-Fu Panda Legends of Awesome and Monsters vs. Aliens. [Spell check offered “Lung-Fu” as an alternative option for Kung-Fu up there – really?]
  • Sandy’s little baby L has finally warmed up to me and will let me hold her without crying. This does wonders for my confidence since last week I made her cry the big tears after I looked at her. She probably knows I am the mother of boys.
  • I wish bandages solved all the worlds problems like they do for my kids. Jack will demand a bandage for a nearly invisible ouchie he has been crying over for a large amount of time and when I give it to him he is suddenly “all better.”
  • We also close on our current house tomorrow, which will be awesome to no longer own two homes. Sadly we didn’t close on it sooner because yesterday Simon tossed a bread knife in our sink and it poked a hole in it so today we had to put in a brand new sink. Awesome.
  • I feel I shouldn’t put this here, but I have a wrinkle on the outside surface of my eyeball (yes, even imagining that makes me squeamish and it’s MY eye) that I’m just ignoring until after the move. It feels like I have an eyelash in my eye but does not seem to be affecting my vision. And yes, I will get it checked out but I cannot be wearing glasses right now since I have not actually worn glasses since freshman year of college and that one time I did, I fell down some stairs because my depth perception was WAY off. Does anyone else ignore health issues because they don’t want to deal with them at the moment? I know I’m not alone on that one.
  • And happiest of birthdays to my sister-in-law, Joan! I think she’s pretty awesome! May you all be so lucky to have a relative like her!

Nutella Mocha No-Bake Cookies
In double boiler, melt: 1/2 c. butter
1 3/4 c. sugar
1/2 c. milk
2 tbsp cocoa powder
2 tbsp instant coffee granules (I used 5 packets of Starbucks VIA instant coffee)
Remove from heat and stir in 1/2 cup of Nutella until melted. Stir in 3-4 cups of quick oats (original recipe called for 3 cups, I used 4 because mine seemed too runny and I also used Old-Fashioned Oats, use your judgement). Scoop onto wax paper and cool in fridge.

Things that perplex me

  • Why I need to fax copies of my marriage license, driver’s license and social security card to the gas company in order to change my last name on my account from my maiden name to my married name (yes, I have been married EIGHT years and haven’t done this yet because I have to fax all those documents – which is a slight improvement over eight years ago when they required you to go in person with said documentation to change your last name [aside: when I called customer service to see if I could do it over the phone, the person congratulated me on my marriage and I had to sheepishly tell her, actually, I got married eight years ago, I’ve just never made the name change; thankfully she laughed.]). Yet, when I called the credit card company they asked for ZERO proof and made the change over the phone. Is there some high fraud problem with utilities and name changes that I am unaware of? It seems a bit much.
  • Why my son (Liam) feels the need to question everything I tell him. For example, I told him he didn’t have to take a lunch to daycare today because he was getting Jimmy John’s every Wednesday, he questioned, “Are you sure? How do you know?” I would understand if he were an overall suspicious child or if I was unusually flaky and or often wrong about things but none of those things are true. Instead, he just questions me and I find myself very frequently saying, “Because I said so.” Or asking him, “Why do you think I don’t know things?” I blame Simon.
  • The new wave of boy bands. One Direction and The Wanted. At least our generations boy bands actually looked like boys/men and have you heard Justin Timberlake? He can actually sing and is witty to boot.
  • People who look graceful running. If ever I took up running, I am 100% positive I would never do it with grace and if I ever thought I was looking smooth and serene, I’m sure I would actually look like Pheobe running:

    GIFSoup
  • How Jack is always hungry. The kid will be stuffed and unable to eat one more bite at dinner (and in his defense will mostly have eaten everything I put in front of him) and within 10 minutes of being done, he’s “starving” once again. Bottomless pit, albeit a picky, bottomless pit.
  • Why all technology can’t be plug and play.
  • Why my phone suddenly started audibly responding to my Google searches. Yesterday I used the voice command for the following inquiry: “Costco Grand Rapids hours of operation” and my phone answered, “Costco is not open, it will open at 10 this morning.” Um, thank you. And also, creepy.
  • Why, despite my advanced age, I like show offerings from The CW.
  • Why I cannot resist buying things at Target, Costco and IKEA.
  • Why I am a procrastinator.
  • How intense swimming lessons look a lot like the teacher is drowning my child. I am not worried about this because I know they are not going to drown and obviously this method works since 100s of children have been taught to swim by this person, but my goodness, it’s… well, intense.
  • How I can be dead tired at 2 in the afternoon and wide awake at 2 in the morning despite not having slept at all between those times.
  • How Jack can NEVER nap and has not napped since he was 2 and will randomly fall asleep on a 20-minute car ride.
  • How my husband doesn’t trust my medical judgement when I tell him I think he has sleep apnea but our friend (yes, our friend who is ACTUALLY a doctor) says that it sounds like Simon might have sleep apnea and should have a sleep study done and Simon thinks it might be worth looking into. Okay, that one I can understand, but how can I not keep from saying, “I told you so?”
  • How it is nearly July already.
  • How Simon and I could both think an Indian dish we had at a lunch buffet was chicken and yet the food sign said “V” for vegetarian. Whatever it was, it was delicious. Also delicious: butter chicken and naan.
  • Why my dog loses his ever-loving mind when he sees anything out of the ordinary happening outside our house; I cannot wait until he sees deer and turkeys our our windows at the new house.
  • Whether or not it is terrible that I am letting my children believe the invisible fence at our new house will also work on them if they try and leave our yard.
  • Why Liam is insisting he get to do something special with Simon for his birthday but is apathetic about whether or not Jack and I come along with them. [He actually sighed and said, “I guess you guys can come, too.”] Apparently, Jack and I = chopped liver. Jack, I can understand, for they have a typical love-hate sibling relationship, but me, I’m the giver to good gifts, organizer of play dates and purchaser of toys and fruit snacks, I should be on the good list, too.
  • All the different kinds of life insurance.
  • Why boxes can’t just pack themselves; related: how we got so much stuff.