Remorse, or not?

Posted on March 7, 2012 | 4 comments


That video up there is just so very pathetic and his lisp with the word, sorry, so very cute. My dear, sweet second-born decided not to listen to me while we were in the checkout at the grocery store. He did so knowing the consequences for his actions would be missing out on watching Dora while Liam played the Wii. Rather than keeping his bottom in the shopping cart, he stood up and pulled handfuls of candy from the checkout lane. I was calm and measured when I told him in no uncertain terms that he was therefore missing out on Dora when we got home. He responded by crying so loudly and dramatically it would have appeared that I pinched him or carried through on some other threat of bodily harm. The checkout employee smiled at me sympathetically, other shoppers just avoided eye contact and Liam continued prattling on to anyone and everyone around us about Very. Important. Things.

Jack carried on with his crying and sobbing until we were loaded in the car and halfway home he sadly squeaked out, “I’m sorry for making a bad choice at the store, mommy.” This was without prodding from me and I hadn’t made any comments along the bad choice line, he picked those words all on his own. I reiterated that I forgave him and I was glad that he was sorry, but he still wasn’t going to get to watch Dora. Cue: more dramatic sobbing.

Once we got home and the groceries were unloaded, I gave the boys a snack (monkey drinks, as they call them) and Jack repeated his apology. So I had him say it one more time for the camera (which you see above). He seems perfectly remorseful and properly sad about what has taken place, right? But what if I told you that seconds before this apology replay, he was laughing wildly with his brother while they made raspberries at each other. Would you think he was truly sorry then? Yup, me neither. And despite his utter cuteness, he did not get to watch Dora that evening. He was very sad, I was very righteous.

Truly sorry will come when he doesn’t display behavior he knows he’s not allowed to do. But it may not come the next time this happens and the same consequences are doled out again (or maybe the time or two after that). Kids will never learn right from wrong if they get what they want for simply apologizing (no matter how pathetic and cute they are doing it). Following through on threats is a skill I’ve had to beef up as my kids get older. Because it would be so nice to avoid the tantrums in the store and the endless crocodile tears that flow when something is lost as a consequence but what’s even nicer is to NOT have the bad behavior happen in the first place and at the end of childhood to end up with two boys who are respectful and don’t act like entitled spoiled brats. Please remind me of this whenever you get a chance because in theory, this is wonderful but in practice, much harder to keep up with. Parenthood, it’s not for the faint of heart.

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Posted in Parenting

Tuesday Randoms

Posted on March 6, 2012 | 5 comments
  • My friend, Heidi, is having a baby today – so firstly, congrats to her! I’m super excited to meet her little guy! Though you gotta feel a little bad for him, the only boy with three sisters, but his future wife is going to be incredibly lucky because between his wonderful mama and sisters, he’ll be a fabulous husband – not to mention, I think her own husband will teach him a thing or twenty.
  • I made The Pioneer Woman’s French Onion Soup on Sunday, I think I still smell onion coming out my pores, but oh is it so worth it (my apologies to everyone who has seen me in the last 48 hours); especially when served with homemade rosemary and sea salt croutons and grated Gruyère cheese. Oh, so good and so worth it.
  • Simon had a man date with two friends to go to a Griffin’s hockey game… he adorably went to the bar nearly 45 minutes early to ensure they had a table to eat at (or perhaps to escape our house, I give it 50/50 odds between the two of those)
  • I was not without girl time and got a chance to hang out with some of my college besties on Friday night: laughter, Mexican food, margaritas and carmelitas… all the best things.
  • I had a rather hilarious moment after MOPS on Thursday (some people would say embarrassing, but I’m sticking with hilarious because I have my pride). Simon met me at church to pick up the boys (as he usually does so I can go back to work after MOPS) and when I got to my vehicle, I realized I still had the diaper bag on my shoulder. Simon had just backed out of the spot about 5 spaces down from me so I thought I could catch him and give him the bag (I thought wrong). So I start toward our minivan and he’s barely inching forward and I think he’s noticed me but then he keeps moving forward so I start running after him, yelling his name. This continued for a few parking space and then he sped off through the parking lot, leaving me in the proverbial dust. I would have never mentioned this but my friend, Keri, witnessed the whole thing and she was dying laughing as she walked toward where I was standing dejected in the parking lot. We both laughed so much we had tears running down our faces, causing another woman to ask if we were all right. Good times.
  • I like taking Liam shopping with me; on Friday afternoon we went to Kohl’s and he raved so much about a jacket I tried on, I ended up buying it – everyone should have a cheering section while shopping for clothing, though it’s probably not very budget-friendly.
  • I also got to hang out with my friend, Stef’s, three marvelous daughters last week and they were so sweet to me; it was a nice treat to see what life would have been like with girls. Plus, her littlest cuddling up on my lap caused Jack to display some jealous tendencies and he scooted in on the lap action as well.
  • Speaking of Jack, one night last week he decided he didn’t want to sleep in his big boy bed for the rest of the night and he didn’t want to sleep with us, but instead he plopped his pillow pet down on the floor in our room and slept the rest of the night in front of the bathroom door. At least he was sleeping. We did throw him a blanket, we’re not heartless, after all.
  • Jack has also decided he is over putting his pee in the potty. After a week of using the toilet non-stop and having dry diapers, the thrill of it all has worn off and even though he still tells people very seriously, “I’m potty training” he has zero desire to actually sit on the potty, no matter what the incentive. Fiddlesticks. At least he’s cute.
  • If you want to be entertained by a little cross section of pop culture and blogging wonderfulness, please see this post by The Bloggess: You’re Ruining Nathan Fillion for Me, Nathan Fillion. Alternate title: But I forgive you (read the whole thing, don’t worry, I’ll wait)
  • This is my current favorite song: Forever and Almost Always (Kate Voegele; yes, she was on One Tree Hill) I just love a good piano accompaniment.
  • Liam nearly broke Simon’s heart on Sunday night when he exclaimed during the MSU/OSU basketball game, “I don’t care who wins… it just matters that they played a good game.” Simon said, “Well, we want MSU to win.” [Sadly, they did not; win or play a good game.]
  • It’s Shamrock shake season. It’s also Girl Scout cookie season but I had the foresight not to order any… I’m saving myself for carmelitas.
  • Liam’s super star of the week at school this week; this means we had actual homework over the weekend and I had to print photos for him to take to school to show how he’s grown from birth. He also got to bring the Franklin doll home for the weekend and draw a picture of Franklin’s time with us. Liam drew he and Franklin having a sleepover in his room, things he chose to highlight in his drawing: a box of legos, his bed, his keyboard, toys on his dresser, his pop top collection and his closet door. Love that kid.
  • Messes Jack has created in the last week: lining all our pouch applesauces in the basement up on the basement stairs; leaving a pile of half-eaten pretzel carcases in the cup holder of my elliptical (they were pretzel + cheese sandwiches, but he only likes to lick out the cheese); overflowed the bathroom sink with soap, water and lotion; drew all over his face and plush angry bird with washable [I’m no dummy] marker; shredded two pages from his notebook and stuffing the pieces into an old phone case, calling it is money and wallet (I thought his was clever); every meal he’s eaten. [This list could also be called, things Jack has done while his mother was otherwise occupied.]
  • I’m a little [read: ridiculously] excited for the Hunger Games movie to come out later this month!
  • On my last post of randomness, I received the following spam comment: “Previously you’ve to have efficacious online income techniques to get you started across experiencing details good for an individual’s web-based business organisation. e-wallet” [how is it an effective use of anyone’s time to create a program that sends that comment to people’s blogs?]

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Posted in Life in general

Music Monday: College Songs 2

Posted on March 5, 2012 | 3 comments

Part two of a series of who knows how many (part one here) looking at songs that bring me right back to college. Music is one of those things that brings me right back to a moment, drumming up all those feelings (the good and the bad).

Time of Your Life (Good Riddance) | Green Day
This song was featured in an episode of ER (a dorm favorite) where a young character had died and one of the other main characters sings it at his funeral. Needless to say, we were all sobbing while watching the episode.

If I Had Only Known | Reba McEntire
This song was in the movie “8 Seconds” with Luke Perry, the true story of a bull rider… we did not have high hopes for this movie but we all LOVED it and were all sobbing uncontrollably for quite a while after the movie ended (apparently friends who cry together over pop culture stay friends forever, love you girls).

In the Light | DC Talk
We used to listen to DC Talk while playing “evil” Uno – our version of Uno where anyone could play on the last-played card. This is the epitome of Christian Contemporary music for me, I just loved it (also loved “Jesus Freak”).

Strawberry Wine | Deana Carter
My roomies and I listened to this song fairly often the first semester of our sophomore year, way back when I was stealing Swedish Fish from Kara’s hiding spot amongst her sweaters in the closet (guess she forgave me for the stealing since we were in each others’ weddings).

This Kiss | Faith Hill
Another throwback to my brief stint as a country music lover. I ended up seeing Faith Hill and Tim McGraw in concert and we all went into the concert thinking Faith Hill was going to be awesome but it was her husband who ended up blowing us out of the water.

Crash Into Me | Dave Matthews Band
I can’t talk about college and not mention DMB, but then I’ve already gone on and on about my love of DMB and their music. But I did see Dave in concert for the first time in college (with Sparky Mark – so named because I didn’t feel that “spark” for him but still went with him to the concert – someday I should write a post about the nicknames we had for people in college, really, just the boys).

I’ve featured two other college favorites in other posts: A Long December (by Counting Crows) and Freshman (by The Verve Pipe – who I get to see performing their family album in two weeks!!)

 

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Posted in Music

Five Question Friday

Posted on March 2, 2012 | 2 comments

Wow… that’s all I have to say about this week. Glad it’s the weekend (almost) and glad for a girl’s night out tonight with some of my most favorite people! Super glad to have had MOPS yesterday. And glad for a chance to get to love on some people today. Glad my dad had a birthday (leap year “baby”) this week. Glad that God is gracious and good, no matter the hardships we face and the snitty behavior we display. Glad for good friends who feel like family, and family that feels like friends. Glad to be back on the exercise bandwagon – 62 minutes last night. Glad my husband gets to hang out with some new friends tomorrow night. Glad for productive days at work. Glad for new shoes from Target. What are you glad for?

1. Where is your favorite vacation spot and why?
Place I would go over and over again because I love the people I see when I’m there: Texas or Australia
Place I would go because it’s beautiful but I don’t know anyone: Colorado
Place I would go for a weekend trip with my husband, without kids: Northern Michigan or Chicago
Place I would go for a weekend trip with my girlfriends: Chicago
Place I would go with friends, without kids: Las Vegas

2. What is your biggest guilty pleasure?
Food: Baked goods and jelly beans
Beverage: Iced Americanos with Hazelnut syrup
TV show: Vampire Diaries
Time waster: Twitter and Pinterest

3. What is your favorite fashion trend right now? Or, in the past?
Current: Yellow with gray; bold pops of color; ballet flats [though I feel like any of those could no longer be current, but I’m going with them]
Past: All-Star tennis shoes, band t-shirts and flannel shirts (I was a wannabe alterna-teen back in the day, but I probably liked to wash my hair too much).

4. What are your spring break plans?
Growing up we went to Texas every spring break; before kids, we did nothing. Now that Liam’s in school it just occurred to me that he has spring break yesterday afternoon, hadn’t even given it a thought. Considering our vacation funds and time off were all used up by Jan. 19 of this year, I’d say that for this year we have no plans. And probably won’t do anything too exciting until Jack is in school as well. But I will plan some play dates and Liam will get to have a daddy morning with Simon for a movie and lunch while Jack is at daycare.

5. What baby names do you hate?
I’m not stupid enough to be too specific, because what if one of my friends LOVES that particular name? And there really isn’t one that I hate, per se, though if pushed, I’d say the stupid people who named their kid Espn (after the network). One that I would never pick for us is Benjamin (because our last name is Bennett); Simon suggested this name when we were pregnant with Liam and I at first didn’t put it together that our child would be Ben Bennett (evil) but was not sold on the name because I had known too many Bens. He still laughs about that.

Linking up with Mama M for Five Question Friday!

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Posted in Five Question Friday

Things I Love Thursday… Technology and Parenting

Posted on March 1, 2012 | 2 comments

Though Jill’s not doing it anymore, I have a Things I Love Thursday post in me so I’m just going to write it anyway.

I have to say I love technology and the role it plays in our parenting. Try as I may, I cannot get my kids to play with their toys all day, or to sit quietly the entire time we are in a restaurant or waiting to see a doctor and sometimes, once dinner is done and we’re approaching bedtime but not quite there yet, I just need a 30-minute break to get me through the witching hour. You can judge me all you want (though really, I know you all do it, too) but I do not at all mind saying we use the technology at our disposal to entertain our kids when our resources are tapped.

We are that family in the restaurant whose children are watching YouTube videos and playing Angry Birds on our smart phones and I’ll make no apologies for that because my kids eat a balanced diet (even if I have to sneak things in) so if they are more interested in our phones than the food, so be it. I do not expect a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old to sit perfectly behaved for an hour in a restaurant and the phones keep them quiet and from getting down to run around. We still go out to eat because it is a treat for us after a long week of not seeing each other, it’s nice to get out of the house together but not be paying a babysitter. The only requirement we have is that they have chicken nuggets/fingers/fries of some sort because then Jack will happily eat; but WiFi is also appreciated.

We are also that family, or I should say, I am that mother, who lets her kids zone out on technology in the evenings to give herself a break. Simon’s home with the kids three mornings a week and they are more than happy to play by themselves and be entertained without much adult interaction (not all the time, but it’s more likely to happen in the mornings) but by the time the afternoon and evening rolls around and I’m home with them, this is less likely to happen. They’ve had enough of each other and are more prone to fighting (well, this happens pretty much all the time because they are both stubborn and well, boys). And I’m all for playing with my kids but sometimes other things need to be done like laundry, dinner-prep, working out and emptying the dishwasher. And sometimes I just can’t read another book, build another Lego thing or listen to them shooting at each other, and we all need to retreat to our separate corners. Liam gets to get his aggressions out by shooting things up on the Wii, Jack turns his focus to an episode of Yo, Gabba Gabba (or Gava, Gava as he calls it) or Dora, headphones in place and I’m busy with whatever I’m doing. Everyone is happy for a little while.

My name is Michelle, and I use technology in my parenting arsenal and I love it. (I also use bungee cords with wild abandon.)

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Posted in Life in general, Parenting