More amusing search terms

Previously on my blog… amusing search terms that have brought people to my blog (see here in August 2011, November 2011 and March 2012). And since I know you love them, here are some more along with my usual commentary.

[Side note: Tomorrow morning Jack is getting his tooth pulled (the one he hit on the naughty rock at my parents’ on Easter – wish us luck and keep us in your prayers!)]

  • what is liam’s favorite song | again, I think we need to educate people on overly specific search phrases – though perhaps they are wondering what Liam Gallagher’s favorite song is (or Liam Neeson) but if they are curious about my son, Liam, here are some songs he likes
  • turtleneck with sweatshirt | please see: DO NOT WEAR
  • boy tights and white boys tights | I may need to revisit my archives to figure this one out; rest assured, I do not put tights on my children, especially not white tights.
  • mothers day bad stuff | this could be so many things… bad things happening, bad gift-giving (see here), bad things you’ve done to your mother; whatever it is… let me just tell you something – do not do bad things to your mother, you will regret it.
  • roto rooter sinus surgery, proper name | I just loved the comma in that search phrase… and that the person knew that wasn’t the real name but would very much like to know what it should be called, please and thank you.
  • what does it mean when a woman says “I enjoyed your company last night” | that you probably aren’t getting a second date because you are googling that phrase; now, if she emailed or texted it to you the very next day, this would have been a good sign but instead of checking what the Internets have to say about this, you should have just responded back to her with “Me too, when can I see you again?”
  • “do you fart in front of your significant other” five question friday | that’s a personal question, but yes, yes I do. I can’t recall if I answered this for a 5QF, but I am an open book so if anyone has any other personal questions, ask away…
  • i am tired of yelling so he can hear me | Ditto, times two.
  • free chicken smoothie accounts giveaway | I hope you are looking for a giveaway that is for both chicken and smoothies as separate items, because chicken smoothies sound disgusting (nearly as disgusting as a canned WHOLE chicken, which I saw last night on Chopped).
  • graduation donut | this is what you give the hard-to-buy for grad… that, or a gift card. Cash and checks also accepted.

Most popular in the last quarter:

  • roll ’em ferndock | see this post
  • skidz pants | see this post
  • something related to buttercream transfers or lightning mcqueen cakes | see this post
  • ememby | congrats – you’ve found my blog, hope you were looking for me

And so I can attempt to lure people to my site who I’d love to have visit, here are some search terms I wish would lead to my site – though I do realize if they are searching these terms, they may not have the answers I’m looking for myself:

  • ememby is awesome
  • how can I send ememby some money (email me: ememby at email dot com)
  • plane tickets to australia, need to give away
  • Qantas ambassador candidates
  • I love coffee and I love diet coke
  • sharing the secrets to calmer children
  • I want to hang out with ememby and I am famous (because who doesn’t want to hang out with a celebrity for just a day; but then, there are lots of things I’d like to do just for a day… let’s add that to the “to write about” list)

4 responses to “More amusing search terms

  1. You know, if I had tickets to Australia that I had to give away, you’d be first on my list. 🙂

  2. Pingback: Funnies, of the search term variety | ememby

  3. Pingback: More search terms to laugh at | ememby

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