Category Archives: Life in general

Funnies, of the search term variety

Posted on July 17, 2012 | 10 comments

How about a little look-see at some more search terms that have led to my blog? [Past installments are here, here, here and here; and to be fair, things I’ve googled.]

My top five terms are still ones I’m happy with:

ememby (people are looking for me, unless there is a celebrity couple that has been dubbed “ememby” that I don’t know about – in which case people are going to be mighty disappointed that I blog about my kids people’s google searches)
skidz pants (not sure what the obsession is there, also near the top is hypercolor shirts)
roll em ferndock (this makes me feel like I’m not so strange for always having said this phrase – incorrectly or not)
symbrachydactyly (this is what Jack’s hand being small/undeveloped is called, I hope people find this site helpful to see that it’s not a disability but a difference)
lightning mcqueen cake (I made one, it was awesome – see below; instructions on how to make your own, linked to here)

Now, here are some recent (and amusing) search terms that have brought people to my bloggity blog:

teacher themed party | I sincerely hope this was not a party they were planning for a child, can you imagine the other children’s disappointment when they arrived at what they thought was going to be a fun birthday party and the mom was like, “all right children, it’s time to grade papers and make lesson plans!”
random dark spot on hand | mine went away, hope yours does, too.
trash cans and recycle bin combo in black for the house | very specific, good job – I admire this person’s googling skills/tactics – also, mine is Black and Decker and it is awesome!
nooks and crannies rooms | this makes me think of a room filled with English muffins (Thomas, the ones with all the nooks and crannies); also, the more times you saw crannies, the more likely you are to laugh
cute “preteen” | No luck in finding a cute preteen on this website – I was a wee bit awkward and my kids aren’t that old; also, please don’t be a pervert, you are not welcome here or anywhere
originally wrapped bottle | of what, pray tell?
saying bad words to someone; a kid saying a bad word | there were multiple iterations of this which is amusing and sad – I hope people are looking up funny videos or hoping to make themselves feel better about their own parenting because their kid also swore. Mine have sworn, both with and without malice and I’m certainly not the worst parent out there so feel better all you google searchers.
“my lovely sweater” | is this a phrase people say that I don’t know about? Otherwise there is no reason for the quotes and you’re probably going to be disappointed with the search results because your specific lovely sweater is not going to be found.
god songs 2012 | Might I recommend Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman and the Newsboys?
what is the most rare squinkie | this search was conducted by one of three people: 1 – a child with access to the internet and excellent typing and reading skills; 2 – a parent who wants to get them the best of everything (a.k.a., a spoiler); or, 3 – a big loser (sorry to be judge-y)
never judge other people’s children when you have your own | speaking of judge-y – truer words have never been spoken, now if only all people could just avoid judging parents, that would be awesome; of course, that said, if someone is physically, emotionally or verbally abusing their child in a manner that makes them unsafe and/or makes your skin crawl, you should do something about that – though, just judging them is still not the way to go.
song we are young friends are in the kitchen getting higher then that empire | also very specific and for future reference, the lyrics are “my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the empire state” and if your kids question you about these lyrics, it’s perfectly okay to tell them the people are practicing jumping very high in the bathroom
how to not be awkward during your awkward years | this is a very self-aware early teen searcher because I’m quite certain most people don’t know they are in the awkward years until they are past them
lick my feet instagram | are they asking instagram to lick their feet because that can’t really happen, instagram is a website, not a person; also, ewww.
moves like jagger poodle singing | Sorry, my poodle is cool but he can’t sing and if he could, I’m quite certain he would actually sing “Can’t Touch This” by M.C. Hammer. He’s old school.
rectal temperature | I’m going to assume this was a new parent looking for help in taking their baby’s temperature; sorry that had to happen
guy fieri womanizer | of all the celebrities I’d be curious about being a womanizer, Guy Fieri would not even be in the top 100.
my everyday diamond pendant | While I do have everyday jewelry, none of it is of the diamond pendant variety. Sorry.

10 Comments

Posted in Life in general, Random, Search Terms

Hmmm… Instagram, week 15?

Posted on July 13, 2012 | 1 comment

My Instagram was a little light this week… anything that wasn’t work or kids was a little light.

But the good news is, the big project is almost wrapped up and tomorrow we will be halfway through Simon’s being gone. And I have so much to tell you… so much to say that I don’t know where to start. I have a small handful of blog posts started in my head on various topics but it’s hard to start them when being funny seems to fly in the face of the sorrow of saying goodbye to Simon’s mom and being down and poigniant seems self-indulgant and too heavy. So in the meantime, while I collect my thoughts (and wits), my measly, sad Instragram stream from the last week…

The above totally tickled my funny bone when I saw the car in front of me at a stop sign. Poor Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes fans, they’re going to have to get a new license plate.

Not related to the above, the following text exchange happened last week as well:
Me, following text exchange about weighty life stuff: I’m disproportionately sad about your hair foam. [TSA took hers]
[Text exchange continues about weighty, life stuff]
Her: To turn this light… what are ur thoughts about tomkat?
Gotta love friends you can have those kind of conversations with (albeit via text, because talking on the phone would not be happening). Also, that’s life, it all happens at once and you roll with it.

My favorite view of downtown, only very slightly filtered… I love coming home at sunset… so much so I set my phone on the dash to take a series of shots (so I could be safe driving, MOM) to make sure I could catch one of the church with the sun setting behind it.

No matter what, at the end of every day there is the potential for great beauty and the promise of a new day coming. No day lasts forever and sometimes the ending is what makes the rest of it okay.

1 Comment

Posted in Instagram, Life in general

You know what happens when you make plans…

Posted on July 4, 2012 | 1 comment

I know there is a saying about making plans and how God laughs at them, or something… but really, I think that paints God to be rather cruel, or at least having a mean sense of humor like your wacky uncle who laughs when you stub your toe or run into a screen door (note: so I’ve heard, I have/had good uncles who were and are nothing but nice to me; also, not the point). But there is some truth in the sentiment of the saying… that ultimately it’s useless to make plans with the thought that 100% these things (that you’ve planned) will happen (how you’ve planned them, or at all). Also, there’s truth in the saying, “Expect the unexpected.” If you had told me a week ago that in one week’s time, my husband would be heading back to Australia, I might have believed you, but I certainly would have been adamant that it wasn’t our plan, that it was highly unexpected. But things happen and until certain things happen, you really can’t know how you’ll feel in the moment, how you’ll react or what you’ll need to do.

My dear mother-in-law passed away yesterday (technically today since Australia is 14 hours ahead of us so the 4th of July will hold a different meaning for our family). She had finally had enough of everything and was ready to be done with this earthly life. We are so glad she is done with the pain and suffering of this world and reunited with her family – especially her husband and son – in heaven. And logically, it all makes sense to know she’s better off but it takes time to know that emotionally and to not be sad (when the numbness wears off). I was reading another blog post recently (this one here*) talking about divorce and the grieving process and how everyone grieves differently and though the post was in the context of divorce, it’s true for all grief – no matter what kind. Grief is sneaky and will take you by surprise on day one or day one hundred. Our grief and sadness is still so new, and still so unfelt from half a world away. It doesn’t seem like a reality to know that she is gone, that my husband has lost his mother and my children their grandmother. It doesn’t seem like reality to know that my husband is currently sitting in an airport waiting to board his flight to Australia [especially when you consider he won’t arrive there until 6 p.m. Thursday night (our time)] while I am back at home with the kids tucked into bed. You wish, in cases like this, that you could just close your eyes and be where you needed to be without the hassle and stomping along of time.

We had not planned on Simon going back for his mother’s funeral, that was why we had gone as a family in January. It was important to spend time with her when she was living, to soak up that time and hold it close to us. My kids will remember her now and have those memories of playing Yahtzee on the iPad and singing happy birthday to her in the hospital. Liam said to me yesterday, “I’m going to miss Grandma Dorothy but she’s in heaven now with her husband and she’s in my heart.” And that makes it okay.

Despite what we had planned, when it became clear this weekend that she wasn’t going to make it much longer, we knew that Simon had to go, felt it was the right thing to do. He hadn’t gone back for his dad’s or his brother’s funeral but this closure is acutely needed. If the shoe were on the other foot and I was in Australia when my mom died, there’s no way I wouldn’t fly home for the funeral, so I completely get the need to be there for his siblings and for himself for closure. She’s his mom.

So we’ll figure it out, even though it wasn’t planned. Because while we do make our plans and God often knows that things aren’t going to turn out as we’ve thought, He’s not reveling in our dashed hopes and abandoned plans. He’s waiting for us to look to Him for direction and to lean on Him for comfort and He’s got His arms open wide, without a hint of laughter anywhere to be found. He puts friends in our lives who understand and love us in all the important ways. He allows us to feel the blessing of those friendships in ways we wouldn’t have otherwise experienced if our life had gone as planned. It’s going to be a difficult time – here and half way around the world – but not impossible.

*I love the whole post, but this paragraph resonated with me especially:

Except, as with a death, once everything normalizes it doesn’t resemble your life anymore. The plans you’d made, the things you’d thought settled, are blown apart.

1 Comment

Posted in Australia, Family, Life in general

Five Question Friday

Posted on June 29, 2012 | 7 comments

It was much easier to get answers out of myself on Monday when I very tardily did my last Five Question Friday post (is that some sort of record, two 5QF posts in one week?)… for some reason I’m having trouble thinking of answers. But I’ll power through, all for the love of my readers (though since most of you are my friends or family, I think you’d forgive me either way). One bit of sad news – my hubby did read my 35 before 35 midway recap and so now he knows we’re planning a girls’ weekend. If you see him, will you remind him that he has rugby games on Saturdays for BOTH spring and fall? And a Poison concert in Detroit in two weekends? It’s not like he doesn’t get to have fun. Just not whole weekends – but if he wanted to get some friends together to go away for a guys weekend… I’d be all for it (because I am also going to a women’s retreat through church this fall – double whoops).

1. What’s your favorite childhood snack that you still eat as an adult?
Does ice cream count? Or chocolate chip cookies. Or Oreos. I will tell you one snack I DO NOT eat. Sunday nights, after night church (of course), my dad and I would have a snack of kippers and Ritz crackers. What are kippers you might ask… well, they are smoked boneless fillets of herring. Yum. From time to time I have thought about buying them and trying them to see if I could even swallow them now, but I just can’t get up the gumption to do it. Maybe my dad and I can relive a memory together…

2. What food will you not eat the low fat version of?
There aren’t many that I won’t eat, it fact, after some thought, I can’t think of one that I won’t… I’ll eat turkey burgers instead of beef, I’ll eat margarine instead of butter (sorry, Sandy, it’s true), I’ll eat fro yo instead of ice cream… the list goes on. It doesn’t mean I prefer them, just that I’ll eat them. There is one think I won’t eat the full sugar version of… Coke. I just can’t stomach regular Coke. It used to remind my of my friend’s dad because growing up he always had regular Coke at their house and when I was there, I could have some, too. But would rather have Diet Coke or nothing (well, maybe not nothing, but not Coca-Cola Classic).

3. What’s your favorite way to cool off during the summer?
Stay inside in the air conditioning. I like the beach and pools, but my favorite way is not just not go outside. It’s true. That’s who I am.

4. What’s your favorite summer read?
I don’t have a particular summer read, I just like to read in general. I don’t recommend bringing classics to the beach, but a Marion Keyes or any other chick lit book is a good beach read. Often for the beach I prefer magazines because I don’t feel bad if they get sandy or wet.

5. What are you doing to stay cool in this awful heat?
See answer to #3… though last night I did have dinner out with friends and we got stuck out on the porch and it was miserably hot but at least we were all in it together. Misery loves company, especially when it is such good company!

Linking up with Mama M for Five Question Friday.

7 Comments

Posted in Five Question Friday, Life in general

Random randoms

Posted on June 28, 2012 | 3 comments

Changing up the title of my random posts… living life on the edge, bloggity blog style. [Or perhaps I’ve had a wee bit too much Diet Coke today; you say potato, I say yep.]

This is my 350th post on this here blog. Is that impressive, or not? I don’t know. It definitely means a have a whole lot of words waiting to get out… thanks for reading them.
The newer A Team is funny stuff. We had a free movie weekend and recorded it – it makes me laugh. If you like to laugh, you should watch it, too. Also, if you like to look at Bradley Cooper, you should also watch it. There are also quotable gems like, “Overkill is under-rated.”
We also recorded the entire first season of Homeland, which we then watched in less than a week. Apparently, we liked it. Hopefully we can get a free weekend of Showtime again in a year so we can watch season two.
Liam said to me the other night, “You know mom, it really is a man’s world. Like that song says.” Me: “Oh really?” Him: “Yes, because God made it and he’s a guy.”
I’m looking forward to the 4th of July parade next week… the boys are going to LOVE it! But I have to say that I do not approve of a Wednesday holiday – worst day of the week for one day off.
I apologize in advance if I miss anything I have planned with anyone reading this… I don’t have any plans to miss these things, but I’m just pre-emptively apologizing because it could happen. Better safe than sorry.
Who is the target audience for the Katy Perry movie? Just curious.
Not at all related to the above, I totally watched the Justin Bieber special on NBC. Justin Bieber has a rather large target audience is all I’m saying.
I’m also saying, I love my husband.
Restaurant Impossible sort of makes me never want to eat at another restaurant again. Also, why is Cupcake Wars still a show?
With the driving school right next door (at work) I find myself feeling much older than normal because the KIDS that are taking drivers’ ed are SO YOUNG. Babies.
Simon bought himself a baseball glove… this is something I never thought I’d see my rugby-and-soccer-playing husband do.
Ice Cube and Coco should never be anyone’s godparents. It needs to be said.
I saw a trailer for “Moonrise Kingdom” for the very first time and knew immediately it was a Wes Anderson film… am I that good or is he a little bit one note? Brilliantly hilarious, but one note, at least in his quirkiness and art direction.
Liam asked what the Olympics were when we were at a friend’s house, it really could only have been more embarassing if he also streaked naked through their living room (which, let’s face it, is a possibility).
Speaking of nudity… when my parents were at our house last weekend, Jack came into the kitchen, looking very proud of himself and said, “Look…” It took us a minute to realize that he was trying to call attention to the fact that he’d pulled his pants down so just one part of his anatomy was poking over the top of his waistband. Awesome. My dad laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes – I’m not thinking Jack learned the lesson NOT to do that again.
And just to get that last bullet completely out of your mind: