Funnies, of the search term variety

How about a little look-see at some more search terms that have led to my blog? [Past installments are here, here, here and here; and to be fair, things I’ve googled.]

My top five terms are still ones I’m happy with:

• ememby (people are looking for me, unless there is a celebrity couple that has been dubbed “ememby” that I don’t know about – in which case people are going to be mighty disappointed that I blog about my kids people’s google searches)
• skidz pants (not sure what the obsession is there, also near the top is hypercolor shirts)
• roll em ferndock (this makes me feel like I’m not so strange for always having said this phrase – incorrectly or not)
• symbrachydactyly (this is what Jack’s hand being small/undeveloped is called, I hope people find this site helpful to see that it’s not a disability but a difference)
• lightning mcqueen cake (I made one, it was awesome – see below; instructions on how to make your own, linked to here)

Now, here are some recent (and amusing) search terms that have brought people to my bloggity blog:

• teacher themed party | I sincerely hope this was not a party they were planning for a child, can you imagine the other children’s disappointment when they arrived at what they thought was going to be a fun birthday party and the mom was like, “all right children, it’s time to grade papers and make lesson plans!”
• random dark spot on hand | mine went away, hope yours does, too.
• trash cans and recycle bin combo in black for the house | very specific, good job – I admire this person’s googling skills/tactics – also, mine is Black and Decker and it is awesome!
• nooks and crannies rooms | this makes me think of a room filled with English muffins (Thomas, the ones with all the nooks and crannies); also, the more times you saw crannies, the more likely you are to laugh
• cute “preteen” | No luck in finding a cute preteen on this website – I was a wee bit awkward and my kids aren’t that old; also, please don’t be a pervert, you are not welcome here or anywhere
• originally wrapped bottle | of what, pray tell?
• saying bad words to someone; a kid saying a bad word | there were multiple iterations of this which is amusing and sad – I hope people are looking up funny videos or hoping to make themselves feel better about their own parenting because their kid also swore. Mine have sworn, both with and without malice and I’m certainly not the worst parent out there so feel better all you google searchers.
• “my lovely sweater” | is this a phrase people say that I don’t know about? Otherwise there is no reason for the quotes and you’re probably going to be disappointed with the search results because your specific lovely sweater is not going to be found.
• god songs 2012 | Might I recommend Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman and the Newsboys?
• what is the most rare squinkie | this search was conducted by one of three people: 1 – a child with access to the internet and excellent typing and reading skills; 2 – a parent who wants to get them the best of everything (a.k.a., a spoiler); or, 3 – a big loser (sorry to be judge-y)
• never judge other people’s children when you have your own | speaking of judge-y – truer words have never been spoken, now if only all people could just avoid judging parents, that would be awesome; of course, that said, if someone is physically, emotionally or verbally abusing their child in a manner that makes them unsafe and/or makes your skin crawl, you should do something about that – though, just judging them is still not the way to go.
• song we are young friends are in the kitchen getting higher then that empire | also very specific and for future reference, the lyrics are “my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the empire state” and if your kids question you about these lyrics, it’s perfectly okay to tell them the people are practicing jumping very high in the bathroom
• how to not be awkward during your awkward years | this is a very self-aware early teen searcher because I’m quite certain most people don’t know they are in the awkward years until they are past them
• lick my feet instagram | are they asking instagram to lick their feet because that can’t really happen, instagram is a website, not a person; also, ewww.
• moves like jagger poodle singing | Sorry, my poodle is cool but he can’t sing and if he could, I’m quite certain he would actually sing “Can’t Touch This” by M.C. Hammer. He’s old school.
• rectal temperature | I’m going to assume this was a new parent looking for help in taking their baby’s temperature; sorry that had to happen
• guy fieri womanizer | of all the celebrities I’d be curious about being a womanizer, Guy Fieri would not even be in the top 100.
• my everyday diamond pendant | While I do have everyday jewelry, none of it is of the diamond pendant variety. Sorry.