ememby

Let’s Be Honest

Posted on July 18, 2012 | 3 comments

It’s not really ideal to have your spouse out of the country for 20 days but at least it’s not 2 or 20 months… some spouses have it much harder with those they love in the military (or in heaven).

Not at all to belittle Simon, but having him gone isn’t too much different than my normal days. Monday through Friday, I work and come home and then he’s at work – the person not working has the kids (except the two days they are in daycare). After work I single-parent it through to bedtime. Right now, the rough times are mornings and weekends. I am NOT a morning person so Simon usually buffers my early risers since he is most definitely a morning person. And the weekends – those large stretches of time when it is just me solely responsible for two wild and crazy guys. It’s a bit exhausting. But overall, it’s a manageable time (not to say I won’t be cashing in on a couple 100% guilt-free weekends away come this fall).

And while it is manageable, my brain cannot handle really anything more than work and the kids at the moment, which means there is a chance I will almost run out of gas (the warning light had been on a good 20 miles before I noticed it and the display said 8 miles to empty when I pulled in to the gas station – whoops). This is not like me since it’s not like Simon fills up the gas tanks normally (not like my parents – my mom hasn’t filled up a car in decades, the cars are my dad’s domain) but this is indicative of where my head is at. Also indicative is how I was all prepared to drop Liam off at his daycare sleepover, only to get there and see everything closed up and note on the calendar – that I could see from the locked door – that the sleepover was the next week.

But I see the light at the end of the tunnel now that we are week away from Simon coming home (happy day) and I’m feeling a bit more breathing room. So I can take a few minutes to share the following (which are hopefully taken in the same manner in which they are meant – not complain-y, but completely sarcastically observational – my own personal M.O.)…

I 100% do NOT appreciate the following things that have happened in the last two weeks to make life a bit more interesting (i.e., I’m about to complain a wee bit, skip down to the next section for the silver lining part of this post):

Liam puking in the van on the road into the airport when we were dropping Simon off; then again at home two hours later – I was afraid this might be a warning shot for the next 20 days.
George puking on Jack’s bed (and my not finding it until the next morning); on my bed at some point while I was sleeping and on the couch and floor another night (also see: in my hands – twice – I’m still washing them).
Jack coming out to the living room yesterday morning and when I looked at his face I was horrified to notice that it (along with his arms) was covered in dried blood. His sheets shared a similar fate (this has happened before because he likes to shove his little thumb up his nose) so back to the laundry again.
Food poisoning or stomach flu which caused me to hang out in bed or in the bathroom for 12 hours while my saintly friend, Sarah, watch my boys and brought them home for bedtime.
Liam waking up at 2 a.m. one night and requiring me to make three trips to check on him before he would just come upstairs and go back to bed with me.
Ants taking over our kitchen – they are getting in somewhere and driving me batty – also driving me batty is how Jack screams every time he sees one – as if it was going to gnaw his leg off.
Anytime we get on video Skype with Simon, the boys go a little bit crazy and cannot control themselves so I spend the conversation wrangling them with a stern voice and the Volcan death grip.
A 14-time difference with Australia which means that phone calls take thought to work out when they would be good to make (but at least I can text him an unlimited number of times). Simon often calls in the morning first thing and I am usually awake but when I am not (and I should be), I answer the phone with a very bright and cheery voice to give the appearance that I am AWAKE, not sleeping, nope. One morning the phone woke me out of a DEEP slumber and I put on my peppy voice and answered with a “Hi, honey!” And then I looked at the clock and noted it was 3:25 AM and, after asking if anything was wrong, promptly switched to angry wife voice and inquired as to why he was calling me at 3:25 IN THE MORNING!? We spoke again 3 hours later, I was much nicer. [He fell asleep and woke up when it was dark so he thought it was late enough there to be a good time to call – but it was just stormy.]
We have been having near 100-degree days with heat and humidity (which Simon loves) nearly the whole time he has been gone while he is in Australia where it is cold and he has to wear jeans and sweatshirts (which I love). [On the plus side, ridiculous heat with no rain means the lawn doesn’t grow so I don’t have to figure out how I’m going to get it mowed while Simon is gone. *BONUS*]

The things I do appreciate:

The fact that Simon got a chance to go (despite everything else, I can honestly say, without bitterness or contempt, that I am glad he is there)
That he will bring me back some Cadbury chocolate
That he and his siblings are getting family time as adults
While not related to Simon being gone, I SUPER appreciate Jack being potty trained
That my parents are hosting me and the boys for the weekend coming up – a 3-to-2 adult-to-child ratio is so much better than 1-to-2!
My awesome support system – really – there are not words for how much I love and appreciate the people in our lives that love us by watching our kids, hanging out with me, going to the beach with us, sitting with me in church, praying for us, sending us cards and flowers, texting daily to check in on me, leaving messages on FB, emailing sweet words and prayers, bringing food and coffee, providing playdates (and it should be said, beer) and company. It takes a village and it (honestly) makes me proud of myself for asking for help instead of being too proud to admit when I’m anticipating a struggle – because you don’t get a prize for doing it alone. Friendship is a gift; being able to help others and being the recipient of that help is an even greater gift. So thanks for giving freely and generously.

3 Comments

Posted in Friendship, Life in general, Parenting

Funnies, of the search term variety

Posted on July 17, 2012 | 10 comments

How about a little look-see at some more search terms that have led to my blog? [Past installments are here, here, here and here; and to be fair, things I’ve googled.]

My top five terms are still ones I’m happy with:

ememby (people are looking for me, unless there is a celebrity couple that has been dubbed “ememby” that I don’t know about – in which case people are going to be mighty disappointed that I blog about my kids people’s google searches)
skidz pants (not sure what the obsession is there, also near the top is hypercolor shirts)
roll em ferndock (this makes me feel like I’m not so strange for always having said this phrase – incorrectly or not)
symbrachydactyly (this is what Jack’s hand being small/undeveloped is called, I hope people find this site helpful to see that it’s not a disability but a difference)
lightning mcqueen cake (I made one, it was awesome – see below; instructions on how to make your own, linked to here)

Now, here are some recent (and amusing) search terms that have brought people to my bloggity blog:

teacher themed party | I sincerely hope this was not a party they were planning for a child, can you imagine the other children’s disappointment when they arrived at what they thought was going to be a fun birthday party and the mom was like, “all right children, it’s time to grade papers and make lesson plans!”
random dark spot on hand | mine went away, hope yours does, too.
trash cans and recycle bin combo in black for the house | very specific, good job – I admire this person’s googling skills/tactics – also, mine is Black and Decker and it is awesome!
nooks and crannies rooms | this makes me think of a room filled with English muffins (Thomas, the ones with all the nooks and crannies); also, the more times you saw crannies, the more likely you are to laugh
cute “preteen” | No luck in finding a cute preteen on this website – I was a wee bit awkward and my kids aren’t that old; also, please don’t be a pervert, you are not welcome here or anywhere
originally wrapped bottle | of what, pray tell?
saying bad words to someone; a kid saying a bad word | there were multiple iterations of this which is amusing and sad – I hope people are looking up funny videos or hoping to make themselves feel better about their own parenting because their kid also swore. Mine have sworn, both with and without malice and I’m certainly not the worst parent out there so feel better all you google searchers.
“my lovely sweater” | is this a phrase people say that I don’t know about? Otherwise there is no reason for the quotes and you’re probably going to be disappointed with the search results because your specific lovely sweater is not going to be found.
god songs 2012 | Might I recommend Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman and the Newsboys?
what is the most rare squinkie | this search was conducted by one of three people: 1 – a child with access to the internet and excellent typing and reading skills; 2 – a parent who wants to get them the best of everything (a.k.a., a spoiler); or, 3 – a big loser (sorry to be judge-y)
never judge other people’s children when you have your own | speaking of judge-y – truer words have never been spoken, now if only all people could just avoid judging parents, that would be awesome; of course, that said, if someone is physically, emotionally or verbally abusing their child in a manner that makes them unsafe and/or makes your skin crawl, you should do something about that – though, just judging them is still not the way to go.
song we are young friends are in the kitchen getting higher then that empire | also very specific and for future reference, the lyrics are “my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the empire state” and if your kids question you about these lyrics, it’s perfectly okay to tell them the people are practicing jumping very high in the bathroom
how to not be awkward during your awkward years | this is a very self-aware early teen searcher because I’m quite certain most people don’t know they are in the awkward years until they are past them
lick my feet instagram | are they asking instagram to lick their feet because that can’t really happen, instagram is a website, not a person; also, ewww.
moves like jagger poodle singing | Sorry, my poodle is cool but he can’t sing and if he could, I’m quite certain he would actually sing “Can’t Touch This” by M.C. Hammer. He’s old school.
rectal temperature | I’m going to assume this was a new parent looking for help in taking their baby’s temperature; sorry that had to happen
guy fieri womanizer | of all the celebrities I’d be curious about being a womanizer, Guy Fieri would not even be in the top 100.
my everyday diamond pendant | While I do have everyday jewelry, none of it is of the diamond pendant variety. Sorry.

10 Comments

Posted in Life in general, Random, Search Terms

Hmmm… Instagram, week 15?

Posted on July 13, 2012 | 1 comment

My Instagram was a little light this week… anything that wasn’t work or kids was a little light.

But the good news is, the big project is almost wrapped up and tomorrow we will be halfway through Simon’s being gone. And I have so much to tell you… so much to say that I don’t know where to start. I have a small handful of blog posts started in my head on various topics but it’s hard to start them when being funny seems to fly in the face of the sorrow of saying goodbye to Simon’s mom and being down and poigniant seems self-indulgant and too heavy. So in the meantime, while I collect my thoughts (and wits), my measly, sad Instragram stream from the last week…

The above totally tickled my funny bone when I saw the car in front of me at a stop sign. Poor Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes fans, they’re going to have to get a new license plate.

Not related to the above, the following text exchange happened last week as well:
Me, following text exchange about weighty life stuff: I’m disproportionately sad about your hair foam. [TSA took hers]
[Text exchange continues about weighty, life stuff]
Her: To turn this light… what are ur thoughts about tomkat?
Gotta love friends you can have those kind of conversations with (albeit via text, because talking on the phone would not be happening). Also, that’s life, it all happens at once and you roll with it.

My favorite view of downtown, only very slightly filtered… I love coming home at sunset… so much so I set my phone on the dash to take a series of shots (so I could be safe driving, MOM) to make sure I could catch one of the church with the sun setting behind it.

No matter what, at the end of every day there is the potential for great beauty and the promise of a new day coming. No day lasts forever and sometimes the ending is what makes the rest of it okay.

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Posted in Instagram, Life in general

Instagram, week 13 and 14

Posted on July 9, 2012 | 4 comments

A little behind over here. Understandable and perpetually true. Please be praying for our Australian family as they prepare to say goodbye to Dorothy on Wednesday morning (9 p.m., Tuesday EST). We’re trying to maintain normal back here at home, but my heart is most definitely in Oz (or split between here and there).

The last two weeks in Instagram photos.

Kara’s son always wears socks… including with his Crocs, we all laugh about this, including Kara.

Pretty coffee. (also yummy) (also necessary)

New sandals and they don’t even kill my feet much at all.

George had a checkup, he’s “apparently healthy.” I noticed, too late, that I included some lovely wording about his rectal/anal sacs at the top of the page and now typing that will lead to some interesting Google searches being led my way – hi strange people Googling rectal/anal sacs, so sorry in advance.

A first-thing in the morning drawing from Liam – I’m a huge fan of mine and Simon’s hair.

The babysitter dressed Liam in a 2T shirt for bed. But Simon was the one who put it in the drawer and Liam wore it without complaint so who am I to say anything?

Handsome boys in red… this will be a great photo for Jack’s future run for political office (dear public: please ignore the fact that I had to use bungee cords creatively to corral my kid).

We live less than a mile from downtown and it wasn’t even dark out when I saw this deer munching down on dinner across the street. Earlier that morning we saw wild turkeys at the back of our house. Nature is confused.

There are not words for how creepy this display was during our garden tour.

A doorway for a tiny creature – sort of love it.

Best dining out experience EVER with children – Jack colored and ate his food and the we rewarded the boys with make your own fro-yo sundaes. Happy birthday to me!

Birthday gift from my lovely hubby, along with matching earrings. He knows I love my Lisa Leonard!

It’s a boat, it’s a car. It seems ill-advised due to how low they were sitting in the water but it made it around Reed’s Lake, so again, who am I to say anything. It’s not everyday you get to see a car pull up to the boat launch and just drive in.

Before Simon left for Oz, we took the kids to the mall to beat the heat and burn off some energy. Who doesn’t love playing on shredded wheat?

Or balancing on a blueberry?

Day one without daddy was spent with best friends and at the pool (for the kids, mommy had to work). We are so blessed by the friends in our lives!

The worst of the heat – this was the temperature registering in my car after work on Friday – it cooled down to 102 after I was on the road for a little bit. Whew.

Hot days call for beach days – the perfect way to spend a Saturday, despite the sunburn on my part in my hair (forgot sunscreen there). We spent the day with Sandy and her boys and everyone enjoyed themselves – perfect weather, company and way to pass time.

Jack agrees. He could not get enough of the water and just lying there. I remember this from my childhood and how you feel like you are in another world when the sounds are muffled by the water and you are looking at everything from a different perspective.

The big boys spent at least 4 hours making a big sand castle (half shown above) which morphed into a hot tub. Then when we told them it was time to go they promptly tore it down – only kids would not think twice about ruining hours worth of work.

Enough said.

4 Comments

Posted in Instagram

You know what happens when you make plans…

Posted on July 4, 2012 | 1 comment

I know there is a saying about making plans and how God laughs at them, or something… but really, I think that paints God to be rather cruel, or at least having a mean sense of humor like your wacky uncle who laughs when you stub your toe or run into a screen door (note: so I’ve heard, I have/had good uncles who were and are nothing but nice to me; also, not the point). But there is some truth in the sentiment of the saying… that ultimately it’s useless to make plans with the thought that 100% these things (that you’ve planned) will happen (how you’ve planned them, or at all). Also, there’s truth in the saying, “Expect the unexpected.” If you had told me a week ago that in one week’s time, my husband would be heading back to Australia, I might have believed you, but I certainly would have been adamant that it wasn’t our plan, that it was highly unexpected. But things happen and until certain things happen, you really can’t know how you’ll feel in the moment, how you’ll react or what you’ll need to do.

My dear mother-in-law passed away yesterday (technically today since Australia is 14 hours ahead of us so the 4th of July will hold a different meaning for our family). She had finally had enough of everything and was ready to be done with this earthly life. We are so glad she is done with the pain and suffering of this world and reunited with her family – especially her husband and son – in heaven. And logically, it all makes sense to know she’s better off but it takes time to know that emotionally and to not be sad (when the numbness wears off). I was reading another blog post recently (this one here*) talking about divorce and the grieving process and how everyone grieves differently and though the post was in the context of divorce, it’s true for all grief – no matter what kind. Grief is sneaky and will take you by surprise on day one or day one hundred. Our grief and sadness is still so new, and still so unfelt from half a world away. It doesn’t seem like a reality to know that she is gone, that my husband has lost his mother and my children their grandmother. It doesn’t seem like reality to know that my husband is currently sitting in an airport waiting to board his flight to Australia [especially when you consider he won’t arrive there until 6 p.m. Thursday night (our time)] while I am back at home with the kids tucked into bed. You wish, in cases like this, that you could just close your eyes and be where you needed to be without the hassle and stomping along of time.

We had not planned on Simon going back for his mother’s funeral, that was why we had gone as a family in January. It was important to spend time with her when she was living, to soak up that time and hold it close to us. My kids will remember her now and have those memories of playing Yahtzee on the iPad and singing happy birthday to her in the hospital. Liam said to me yesterday, “I’m going to miss Grandma Dorothy but she’s in heaven now with her husband and she’s in my heart.” And that makes it okay.

Despite what we had planned, when it became clear this weekend that she wasn’t going to make it much longer, we knew that Simon had to go, felt it was the right thing to do. He hadn’t gone back for his dad’s or his brother’s funeral but this closure is acutely needed. If the shoe were on the other foot and I was in Australia when my mom died, there’s no way I wouldn’t fly home for the funeral, so I completely get the need to be there for his siblings and for himself for closure. She’s his mom.

So we’ll figure it out, even though it wasn’t planned. Because while we do make our plans and God often knows that things aren’t going to turn out as we’ve thought, He’s not reveling in our dashed hopes and abandoned plans. He’s waiting for us to look to Him for direction and to lean on Him for comfort and He’s got His arms open wide, without a hint of laughter anywhere to be found. He puts friends in our lives who understand and love us in all the important ways. He allows us to feel the blessing of those friendships in ways we wouldn’t have otherwise experienced if our life had gone as planned. It’s going to be a difficult time – here and half way around the world – but not impossible.

*I love the whole post, but this paragraph resonated with me especially:

Except, as with a death, once everything normalizes it doesn’t resemble your life anymore. The plans you’d made, the things you’d thought settled, are blown apart.

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Posted in Australia, Family, Life in general